This evening I ended up in a massive argument (quite hostile actually- I hate to think what the neighbours were thinking- and if you are one of my neighbours I profusely apologise for the excessive amounts of shouting that was expressed and for any disturbances caused) with my sister which stemmed around befriending a person that she is clearly not friends with. There’s a whole history with their friendship and I won’t go into this except for this situation.
It started out that I was sat in the monotonous zone of scrolling through facebook when my sister yelled from the other room “are you friends with _____?” to which I replied (actually knowing that this was about to turn disastorous) ” Yes I am. [This person] added me a couple of days ago!” She totally flipped out! I explained I wasn’t “friends friends” with this person and that I was simply trying to locate some photos of this person’s son. Yup, you can guess, that didn’t go down very well either! it just increased the fire and made her even madder at me!
This quickly resulted in a yelling match which ended with me accused of being disloyal. At this point, I knew pretty well that I hadn’t thought or handled this well enough but, I was rather hurt for being accused of being disloyal as my intentions was never to be friends with this girl but rather to look at photographs so I didn’t quite see things from her perspective as she had been desperately wounded and hurt by this person who caused much harm to her in some of our hardest trials as a family. So, like a child I called my mum for some ‘momma’s wisdom advice’. For about an hour, my mum kept going back and forth between me and my sister which I think probably made things worse. But, my mum always has a way of getting me to see from the other perspective of how it looked. And truly, I was convicted.
I had offended her. As far as she was concerned, in her mind I was being disloyal as I was fb ‘friends’ with the person that caused her pain and that felt like a betrayal to her (even though it was totally the case) especially when the people close to that person de-friended her not because she didnt get on with her but out of ‘Loyalty’ to that person. It didn’t matter to her if I was just going to look at photographs. What mattered was the fact that there was a reconnection with the person that I defriended ages ago. Even if I have a point in the fact that my intentions were no where near that arena or that I don’t want to be fighting with everyone that my sis has an offence with (theoretically speaking; I’m not saying this is the case at all), the fact of the matter was I caused her to stumble because I offended her. It made me reconsider the concept of loyalty and has left me to beg the question “is Loyalty so clear cut?” and “if it can cause of offence how do we deal with it?”
I realised I just needed to apologise as I refuse to go to bed with an angry atmosphere (its a breeding ground for demonic thoughts like hatred, and a nest for all negative emotions) as Proverbs says “…Let not the Sun go down on your Anger…” So after her ignoring and trying to avoid me, I apologised (asking Holy Spirit to help as it really does pull your pride down a peg or three!) and we sorted through the situation very quickly. Also, I was reminded of another proverb stating “A soft answer turns away wrath; but grievious words stir up anger…”
Oh Well… Why on earth didn’t I think of that first? Maybe it wouldn’t have taken so long and I wouldn’t be up this late typing! Look the point is to be aware If you know that you are connected to people and your loyalties are affected because it might cause offence…It might not be so clear cut as to how you demonstrate loyalty, especially if another’s personality may not perceive it the same way…
I’m babbling now…lol
Anyway below is a clip of a parent’s loyalty to their child…totes offended the guy is….lemme know what you guys think! Peace x
As ever Keeping it Real and Peace to you!
The elected Lady xx