“…We refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we’ve come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice…
Climbing the Mountain
I feel like I have been climbing a mountain for a very long time …
I came across a story yesterday that has resonated loudly in the silence of my heart and I don’t know how I missed it! I discovered it on searching through Child Prodigy Akiane Kramarik’s paintings. For a long time now I’ve not been able to articulate the thousand musings of different topics that have constantly raged through my thoughts; and have dominated my moods of expression on paper for fear of being judged by those very feelings and thoughts, and the people that read them. Thia is why this story means so much. In fact, reading this story on one of Akiane’s paintings stunned me and vibrated a deep truth yet simple illustrated in the best way I know how in the form of storytelling which has started to open me up again and prepare my tongue as ‘a pen of a ready writer’. Storytelling is a most beloved childhood favourite. Therefore, I thought it only best to share this story with you. I just couldn’t keep it to myself and let facebook have it alone!
Let it bless you as it has me! Oh and a… Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
Akiane Kramarik shares the story as follows…:
“Once upon a time, in an island there lived six feelings and emotions: Happiness, Knowledge, Love, Sadness, Richness and Vanity. One day they discovered that the island began sinking! So all of them built boats and canoes and left, one by one. Except for Love. Love wanted to delay abandoning her beloved island as long as possible.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a boat. Love asked, “Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “Sorry, Love, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat, so there is no place here for you. With both of us in here we will sink for sure.”
Love next asked Vanity who was also sailing by, but Vanity offered the same answer.
“I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by, so Love asked, “Sadness, take me along with you.”
“Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!”, sadness said in a gloomy voice.
Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so preoccupied with her happiness that she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.”
It was an elder with a tattered head scarf. An overjoyed Love jumped into the boat. When they arrived at a dry land, the elder went her own way.
Love looked around and saw the Knowledge who was the first to have landed there a while ago.
“Who Helped me?” Love asked.
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time? Why time?” Love was surprised.
“Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.” The Knowledge smiled. “
As ever and always Keeping it Real!
The Elected Lady xx
It Pays to be Patient!
It Pays to be patient. It pays to not freak out. It pays to be diligent in seeking. Because in seeking You will find. It Pays to be FREE! Here’s why… My Laptop messed up yesterday and basically all the apps had been turned to … Continue reading It Pays to be Patient!
Loyalty and Offence – not so clear cut
This evening I ended up in a massive argument (quite hostile actually- I hate to think what the neighbours were thinking- and if you are one of my neighbours I profusely apologise for the excessive amounts of shouting that was expressed and for any disturbances … Continue reading Loyalty and Offence – not so clear cut
Laying down your Isaac…
I prithee please forgive but I must warn you now. This isn’t one of those “short expression” moments that I’ve recently adjusted to so if you don’t have the time to listen then I must advise you to overlook now or find the time when you’re ready to read/listen because today, I’ve a lot to bleed today and pour out in this journey called LIFE. (Yes I know I haven’t been on this Earth that long but my goodness! I’ve seen enough to let one’s skin crawl, and had enough adventures to fill a library…well maybe not that exaggerated but at least you get the point!)
‘Ever feel like you’ve come across moments in your life where you have been challenged to give up the things that mean most to you and to your heart? Or have you ever felt moments where you were challenged to relent and give up your hearts’ desires in order to possess something greater, knowing that it would kill or hurt you in the process? Well, to me right now that’s where I am and it feels like a knife circumcision to the heart. Let me explain…
On Thursday Night I had finished Choir Practice at 9pm and headed to Mojos (youth/young people’s club at New River Church). I walked in the bitter cold night and crossed the clear road whilst observing the green-cross code “Stop! Look and Listen!“, and marched towards the bus stop in an attempt to keep myself warm then waited for bus W8 to arrive. En route to Lea Valley Leisure Centre, I stopped in Edmonton Green.
As I arrived at New River, I heard the sound of music coming from the venue (as with any youth group) and I perceived that they must be worshipping. So I entered into the building and after finding a suitable place to put my bags and coat, I positioned myself to enter into worship. Enter in, My FOOT!
Initially, when I started to worship (i.e. singing, praying, praising, telling-God-how-good-he-is) it was all good and I had felt a wave of intense love wash over me especially as we sung Hillsong’s “The Stand”. Suddenly, the familiar flicker of fear that indicates when “something-aint-right” crept on my vulnerable heart. I couldn’t understand why. I puzzled and thought, and thought, and puzzled; then I tried to figure out as usual what the reasons were when BANG! Complete Disconnection. The crawling sensation of anxiety gripped me in a moment and I began to fight it and struggled to regain that emotional and spiritual connection. That moment of emotional distraction left me feeling somewhat odd.
So I paced around the space in the room and eventually settled for sitting on the floor. This time I felt tired and simply entered the “can’t-be-bovvered” attitude whilst trying still to connect vainly. Didn’t work to be honest. It was in that instance when my friend sat with me when I realised that I had needed to be open and honest about what I was experiencing. After a bit of small talk, I told her about what happened and tbh I was genuinely seeking answers at this point. I just wanted to be free from this sickly feeling and something she said struck a chord with me.
She paused then expressed how when she felt that way sometimes, there was usually an underlying blockage that needed dealing with and she advised me as anyone would- “ASK GOD!” I did. I had. I had asked already but wasn’t getting or hearing anything or response which fueled the anxiety that much more. But this time I decided to wait and ask again. (When you’ve asked once and life throws you curve balls as NO ANSWERS, ASK AGAIN!)
This time, because I was actually READY TO RECEIVE an answer, it came very quickly. A scene in an episode of Friends where Rachel says goodbye to Ross came quickly into view. This scene for me had been so intense that it hit a part of me that I never thought would be impacted in such a significant way. I realised the scene confronted my emotions about a person I really really like and my feelings for this person had dominated my thought life for a long time that it was undermining even my relationship with my Maker. And it didn’t only undermine my relationship, but it started to dominate my songs, prayers and my life to a very small degree (but a degree nonetheless).
I know! it sounds silly and stupid. Ah well, what am I like?! It just seems that when I fall for someone I fall hard. like, really hard. Some of you understand. It was at this point that I knew what needed to be done and it was as if I heard the words clear “Lay down you Isaac“. (Look, for the theologians among you, I don’t pretend to know how theologically correct it is but all I know is this is what He said and I obeyed. Simple. We can argue later…)
But for the others who don;t understand the context this command refers to, it is the story of Abraham and Isaac and you can read it in Genesis chapter 22 (don’t worry I didn’t have to kill anyone but I understood the metaphorical context). In retreat, I knew that I had to let go and give it over to God, and so let go, I did. In obedience and in tears. And this time, there was a grace and an ease to do it. The song “Cry me a River” – the Justin Timberlake version, not Buble (though I love him so) springs to mind. It was silent, but the sodium chloride liquid coursed through my body and released streams down my face and into my palms. Strangely, it felt like a huge weight had lifted at the same time but it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I don’t pretend to feel great about it. I’m fine and I’m okay, but yea, it hurt.
You know, sometimes it feels so hard to let go. However, there is always hope. You see, when God or life requires you to give up your best, He often has in mind an even greater purpose and blessing in store for you. So count it all joy. As Maria from the sound of music said it best, “When God closes a door, somehow he opens a window…”
pffhtt! IT BEST BE A BIG WINDOW that’s all am Saying!!! coz for me to climb through that? Lawd have mercy!!
So, what have I learned today?
1- Well the keys to my Heart are in Big Daddy’s hands and when the time is right, they shall be released and it will be full of matured Joy. And Secondly, there is always a Ram climbing as I am, to be that substitute sacrifice. I don’t know…These are just my thoughts today. Making any sense? feel free to express but in the meantime let me leave you with a couple of songs!
The sayings of a transparent heart…God this is difficult!
As ever keeping it real, Peace!
The Elected Lady ❤ xx
Curiosity Killed the Cat…
IT WAS MIDWEEK– precisely Wednesday the 5th December, when my curiosity got the better of me. It was as if Satan had hung the forbidden fruit in my face wrapped with pure desire to grasp my attention and funnelled me through an avenue of guilty pleasures…
Monday had seen me head to the General Practitioners for another round of blood tests as a part of ongoing investigations concerning my beautiful body. However, it was a failed attempt as the phlebotomist was visibly anxious to leave and clearly didn’t possess quailties of respect and patience for me to find my blood test form, which I only remembered I needed on arrival at the surgery. Annoyed as I was, and to be frank, quite frustrated with the Big Man Upstairs for not reminding me, or sounding some alarm to remember my form, I left to jump on the big red Bus 329 towards Enfield Town and got off at St. Anne’s/Cecil Court stop. I decided to enter the cold creature comforts of my church hall and vent out my frustration (it is quite the structural attraction as it looks like a House from outside yet, from within, its a TARDIS!! small outside and mahooosive inside!).
Within a couple of hours I was fine and my peace of mind had returned (thanks Big Man Upstairs- AKA Dad) so I headed back to my aunt’s and up to my sister’s room to catch up on some much needed rest. The walking was affecting my abdomen and had really hurt so I decided that Bed was going to be my choice option from the menu. I also had some stuff to catch up on anyway. But that’s when it all started…
I was sat up in bed when I noticed on my cousin’s bookshelf the book 50 shades of Grey. It caught my attention as I have been fascinated about the surrounding hype of the book and not to mention that I had read the blurb a while back to discover why it was dubbed recently “mummy-porn” due to the illicit and graphic nature of the book. Now many will crucify me on reading this and a thousand and one haters and self-righteous critics will look at me thinking “I always knew she was a sinner!” or “kmt! really??” (Kiss my teeth for the benefit of the abbrieviated illiterate…). I ignored it but I knew that I was going to find myself (against my holy will to resist) reading the book. I just knew. Gasp!
To be honest, I only wanted to find out what the hype and the fuss was all about, and I had been really curious to research why it was the most talked about book this year and why it was so controversial. I know, I should have resisted. I should be repenting. And guess what? I did! Well…Afterwards….!
Now, I love to read and for a long time, reading a full novel just hasn’t happened. So far, everytime I’ve started, I usually stop half-way which I never used to do. It just seemed to be the case lately. Until this book. It certainly sparked my love for reading again and it was very well written. And what killed it for me was the irony of the fact that on Sunday my Pastor was preaching on the battle of the mind and mentioned about being careful about what we read and what passes through our eyes because its the gateway to one’s soul. Well I certainly put a boot in that didn’t I?!
And dare I hate to say this, I actually found the book funny, witty, lyrical and very intensely written on all the illicit content which is all shades of WRONG!!! should only ever be prescribed for marriage…
‘Took me two secret nights and a day to complete….my head was in a serious spin. Guilty Pleasures indeed! It was the sort of book that left you wanting to know what happened next?
For most people, they will not see a problem with this at all and thinking why the hell am I condemning myself over a book? but for those like me, who are trying to avoid treading where angels fear to tread until the appointed time and for me that is “wedding day“, it was an issue for me. Especially because it’s beautifully twisted. It’s lustful. 50 shades of pleasurable sin. It evoked all sorts of emotions and set all sorts of lights off in my brain and left me feeling somewhat guilty. ah yes. The after effect of giving in to temptation.
It made me see how that Old ancient Serpent’s skill at marketing had worked through sparking my interest, but also showed me God’s Grace. Because it was sin to me, in my eyes I fell, and needed to repent for that. Also, His Grace is sufficient enough to help me resist temptation. But In God’s immutable Grace and endless love, I actually found that he used the book rather to teach me this valuable lesson:
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the
field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Songs Chapter 3 Verse 5
As ever always, Keeping it Real!
The Elected Lady xx