Tag: Jesus

Climbing the Mountain

I feel like I have been climbing a mountain for a very long time …

Deconstructing Self- Condemnation (Reflection)

Why do we self-destruct by condemning ourselves?
Why do we self-destruct by condemning ourselves?

Hi guys,

How y’all doing? I’m in process on the road to recovery so I trust you’ve kept yourself amused in the meantime! 🙂 It’s been a while and now is the time I feel I have something to share that has been marinating in my thoughts today.

Sometimes, when we’re on the verge of breakthrough we often give up and while it’s a cliche many know this to be a fact and have even given many motivational speeches on it. So I thought I’d share some of my inner musings, here are my thoughts…humor me a few moments:

One of the major reasons we often dont see or experience breakthrough in our lives or in our situations has often got anything to do with (well most of the time) the size of our bank account; the devil; our background; or even how hard or easy, or lazy we’ve worked, or even the advice or counsel we’ve listened to… These options are merely only partial contributions. Yup. I called the devil a partial contribution. Here’s why…

One of the biggest reasons why we do not see, is because so often we’re asleep inside. We’re not awake to the potential that lays dormant within or lays untapped because we can’t see it. Moreover, we disqualify ourselves before the jury can even say we’re guilty or not. How? We do this by the way we condemn ourselves in the name of “humility” and “killing the flesh” and “break down your pride!” (which by the way is false and its a form of pride in itself – There is no glory in self-condemnation as it still elevates self where negatively or positively).

We often cancel out our breakthrough by what we speak over our own selves, and consequently becomes slaves to our own perceptions which are already distorted and self-limiting and for that, the devil doesn’t need a helping hand for we go do it all by our self. By this, we insult our true identities and our true Value that God has placed on the inside of us by adopting lies and lesser views of who we are out of fear that we are overstepping the mark…

We condemn ourselves over the tiniest mistake in our quest for perfection and find ourselves falling short of the unattainable mark, even when it is in our ability to do so. We even strive in excess to the detriment, of our soul which is left in shattered pieces…
Pieces. Pieces of your life that we’d rather hide and bury in shame and like Adam – carrying the “fig-leaf syndrome” of trying to fix it ourselves.

If we got rid of self-condemning words and lies and just got back to knowing who we really are in Jesus, and got to know our true potential and valued as loved treasure and a precious human being whether created or not, we would hear clearly that voice tell you “why are you condemning yourself? Do I condemn you?” and you can respond appropriately. This was what happened to me this evening. I heard these very words and found myself repenting and had to forgive myself whilst I sought forgiveness for thinking ill of me just because I dialed the number of a guy I wanted to speak to who was going through stuff, whilst I was going through the Mill of recovery myself in tandem.

You see, the reality is Self-condemnation is not cool. It is destructive. No matter how glamorous it is dressed, it is fake and it destroys our confidence in not just ourselves, but in the One who Created us for GLORY, LOVE and Good Works. By deconstructing its ability to work in our lives by recognising how condemnation speaks, then we can stop it at the door before it can even gain entry and begin to unlock our keys to our breakthrough. Breakthrough is on the way no matter how small. Elijah just need a fist of cloud. How much more you?

Thanks for taking the time to read. As ever, Keeping it real…

The Elected Lady,

Peace xx

“Stay: Watch with me for One Hour…”

“Stay up with me One more Night,” I came with the soft whispers of the night.
The Chilling foreboding of my impending doom, awaited me.
Troubled, I’d never known FEAR; Never knew Fright,
Until that fateful eve in my heart when fear was all I could see…
Knowing the thought of Losing YOU to face my Destiny gripped my sorrowful frame,
But knowing it was to SAVE YOU, was worth enduring the Pain and the Shame.

So, could you watch with me One Hour?

passion-Jesus in Gethsemane
But that night the weight was all too real!
The apprehension. The Pain. Mental Torture was all I could feel.
The threat of truly knowing life a part
Where my Father would forsake me for a start,
The darkness of loneliness creeping my skin,
The terror of emptiness Pounding within…

So I asked again: would you watch with me One Hour?

But on return to your sleeping heads,
the weight of slumber covered your eyes.
Crestfallen, the familiar stab of pain and disappointment hit me
But my loving compassionate heart saw your feeble frame, & I knew YOU were MY Prize!

The thought of your falling to Temptation’s Snare, pulled my jealous love for you to pray,
All I wanted was One More Night with you – Please Stay!
Yet, my cry was “Not MY WILL BUT BE DONE THINE!”
So that I could make you truly Official and Legitimately Mine!

So now you’ve found yourself in your Gethsemane.
Your Being & Energy calls out to me:
Lord, Watch with me One Hour?” and me I say,
“I’ll watch with you an hour, a second and a day,
Even a Lifetime.
Because I will NEVER LEAVE YOU nor FORSAKE You.
And finally, “YOU ARE MINE.

Let me know what you think peoples!
As ever Keeping it real, Peace! HAPPY EASTER!!

The Elected Lady xx

Commissioned to Mission

mission impossibleHi People!

So its becoming the same generic Where I start momentum to write yet slip into a season of writer’s block (which by the way feels like I’m still currently in) and not write anything for a long while. When oh when will I ever fully discipline myself to write more regularly? All I know is that I guess I’m someone who tends to write under inspiration and when I do it’s usually more poetic and in such circumstances, you cannot rush inspiration and you cannot rush creativity.

But, its not that time for the self-admonishing but rather a time to say, thank you to all those who have been reading, and commenting and liking my posts as its really encouraging and it gives me great pleasure knowing what you’re thinking and knowing how in some way my posts help. It is a blessing to have you guys listen to what I have to say…

This week, a young person asked me during Choir practice why I love Mission or going on Missions so much? I realise life’s journey itself is a mission. It’s about purpose. It’s what we’ve been created for. It’s that purpose that drives people to either write, sing, be creative, be academic, and come out with books like “The Purpose Driven Life” (Rick Warren) and articles like “The Spirit Driven Life”. (Just a quick side-note here: we are to be Spirit Led not Purpose Driven…being driven puts enormous pressure on one’s self but we ought to have purpose and be led by our Spirit for direction to fulfill that purpose.)

Purpose is Mission. You’ve been sent here for a task, a purpose, a mission. Whichever way we put it, we were born to do something or to be someone who we are and who we’ve been created to be. So for me, I love Mission. I love purpose. I love the idea and the reality of knowing I am here for something. I am here to contribute and display the beauty and the character of the One who created me and share my experiences and life.

As a person, I am very expressive emotionally and physically, which others may sometimes perceive as a weakness but its rather a strength. It takes strength to admit when your weak. It takes strength to explore areas of emotion that usually one fears because of the consequences of experiencing such emotions. It’s all a part of Becoming who we are and Becoming who we’ve been created to be.

Why do I do mission? I do mission because Mission is a way of life. And to narrow it’s context, what is my mission? My Mission is to do the Will of Him that sent me and to Finish it. That’s my mission. So whichever vehicle or form that takes to complete and fulfill my mission I will take it.

It’s why I can’t be put in a box. It’s why I have to be versatile. Fluid. Spirit-Led. Why do I do Mission? It’s because we’ve been Commissioned to Mission. I have a role and have a hand in the Great Commission of Life to Share the good news about the One who loved and Loves me and paid that Price for me, and I want others to encounter that Love I’ve experienced. That LOVE that I’m so passionate about. Yes. That LOVE. IT’S WHO HE IS.

So Where am I going? I don’t know but as I’ve always said from the beginning, this Life is a Marathon, not a Sprint and its a journey so my ultimate goal and journey is back to the One I love. The One I adore. The one who Hears. The One who Sees. That’s where I’m going and I’m taking others with me, as I enjoy the roller-coaster ride. As I let go of the reins and let Him Reign. Be Obedient. That’s my cry. So it’s what I’m doing. I am going to France and Germany on Mission this year working with young people because I love it. And with people in general. I love to travel. I wanted to be in Lebanon this year, but my Spiritual Satnav didn’t direct me there this year due to many different factors and I needed to remain here in the UK.

It turned out that it was very worthwhile that I didn’t go, although I miss Lebanon terribly and crazily. One of my young people died brutally last week. Was hit by a train. When I heard it, it felt like a punch to the stomach. I thought, “If this is what it feels like to me and he’s not even my blood or direct child, I’d hate to think and wonder what his mother must be going through!”

This kid, Charlie, was 16. He had purpose. He wanted to be a Civil engineer. It hit me hard. I realised that I needed to be there for the young people who were affected. And I realised that this was my newest Mission. This is my mission for the time being until the Lord says Switch. For those of you who’ve been following my facebook posts and Twitter posts, you’ll find that we’ve been doing anything we can in remembrance of this wonderful guy. Through being there and connecting with these young people, they have been open to receiving love and having encounters of their own and those who don’t want to know are also okay. It’s not my place to force them. But, It’s mine to Love them. However, I’ve had to work as a wounded soldier helping his other wounded comrades.

I feel I’ve taken bullets since this season called February began, where one mission ended and it felt like I lost a job and my heart to be frank, and then side-tracked mission which put me in danger, but the Lord rescued me miraculously. Yes. sound familiar?

Sounds like a Soldier. Sounds like an Ambassador. Sounds like each and every single one of us who are facing challenges and facing circumstances with a choice without no choice. Yes. Sounds like Mission. Sounds like life.

So Why do Mission? Again: We’ve been Commissioned to Mission.

Keeping it real as ever,

Peace

The Elected Lady xx