Tag: life

Deconstructing Self- Condemnation (Reflection)

Why do we self-destruct by condemning ourselves?
Why do we self-destruct by condemning ourselves?

Hi guys,

How y’all doing? I’m in process on the road to recovery so I trust you’ve kept yourself amused in the meantime! 🙂 It’s been a while and now is the time I feel I have something to share that has been marinating in my thoughts today.

Sometimes, when we’re on the verge of breakthrough we often give up and while it’s a cliche many know this to be a fact and have even given many motivational speeches on it. So I thought I’d share some of my inner musings, here are my thoughts…humor me a few moments:

One of the major reasons we often dont see or experience breakthrough in our lives or in our situations has often got anything to do with (well most of the time) the size of our bank account; the devil; our background; or even how hard or easy, or lazy we’ve worked, or even the advice or counsel we’ve listened to… These options are merely only partial contributions. Yup. I called the devil a partial contribution. Here’s why…

One of the biggest reasons why we do not see, is because so often we’re asleep inside. We’re not awake to the potential that lays dormant within or lays untapped because we can’t see it. Moreover, we disqualify ourselves before the jury can even say we’re guilty or not. How? We do this by the way we condemn ourselves in the name of “humility” and “killing the flesh” and “break down your pride!” (which by the way is false and its a form of pride in itself – There is no glory in self-condemnation as it still elevates self where negatively or positively).

We often cancel out our breakthrough by what we speak over our own selves, and consequently becomes slaves to our own perceptions which are already distorted and self-limiting and for that, the devil doesn’t need a helping hand for we go do it all by our self. By this, we insult our true identities and our true Value that God has placed on the inside of us by adopting lies and lesser views of who we are out of fear that we are overstepping the mark…

We condemn ourselves over the tiniest mistake in our quest for perfection and find ourselves falling short of the unattainable mark, even when it is in our ability to do so. We even strive in excess to the detriment, of our soul which is left in shattered pieces…
Pieces. Pieces of your life that we’d rather hide and bury in shame and like Adam – carrying the “fig-leaf syndrome” of trying to fix it ourselves.

If we got rid of self-condemning words and lies and just got back to knowing who we really are in Jesus, and got to know our true potential and valued as loved treasure and a precious human being whether created or not, we would hear clearly that voice tell you “why are you condemning yourself? Do I condemn you?” and you can respond appropriately. This was what happened to me this evening. I heard these very words and found myself repenting and had to forgive myself whilst I sought forgiveness for thinking ill of me just because I dialed the number of a guy I wanted to speak to who was going through stuff, whilst I was going through the Mill of recovery myself in tandem.

You see, the reality is Self-condemnation is not cool. It is destructive. No matter how glamorous it is dressed, it is fake and it destroys our confidence in not just ourselves, but in the One who Created us for GLORY, LOVE and Good Works. By deconstructing its ability to work in our lives by recognising how condemnation speaks, then we can stop it at the door before it can even gain entry and begin to unlock our keys to our breakthrough. Breakthrough is on the way no matter how small. Elijah just need a fist of cloud. How much more you?

Thanks for taking the time to read. As ever, Keeping it real…

The Elected Lady,

Peace xx

Don’t assume… (Irrational Monday Morning rant!)

Got some stuff I need to get off my chest family this Monday morning:

Don’t for one second assume that just because someone is on fb or uses social media a lot (or all the time) that their life is cushty. Even if you’re concerned how about find out how you can help them and not just criticise their way of life. Even if They may even be vocal about it. If you don’t like it and think its cool for them and u think their excessive use is bothering you press the delete button or if u dont want to unfriend them then unsubscribe. unfollow. its not hard!

Don’t even assume that even if everything is okay with them that just because you may not handle your pain or your issues the same way that their way is not the right way either. you may not want people around you the same way others want people around them. Don’t assume for one second that your remedy fits all. Yes your world may not evolve around them and yes you may even be very busy and that is fine! its not by force! But, don’t start saying things that u don’t know for a fact!

Don’t assume that their behaviour is “attention-seeking” just ’cause that’s what it may seem to look like. And even if it is the case what is your issue? Don’t expect that person to change coz they don’t conform to your ideologies of how a person should carry themselves with so-called “dignity”. Especially when you know that if you’re going through something and they knew they’d be there for you in a heartbeat, then do the same. If you can’t its fine. People have genuine reasons.

Don’t assume that just because you have principles that someone’s is the same as you and that they should understand because they won’t coz all they’ll see is they needed you and you weren’t there. We are all at different stages of our journey. Even if they are melodramatic and a BIT EXTRA and WEIRD and TOO MUCH and ANNOYING and INTENSE its coz their crying out for help with genuine support and they don’t understand why they are where they are. Their life may be intense so if you can’t handle it butt out and don’t judge. Or just PRAY. Text. Call. show you care. Don’t wait for them to text you before you find out how its going.

Even if you don’t do all those things, it doesn’t matter but the worst part is don’t start behaving like Job’s friends who accuse him and make him feel like he’s the one in the wrong and being extra and its somehow is fault he’s walking through what he’s going through in the name of God and start telling them a bit about themselves when their down!! Even for an animal that’s a low blow!

Even if they are healing up, its a long road to healing. You haven’t walked a mile in their shoes so say nothing and just be there. Especially when you want to use them for your own ends and have them be there for you and do all the stuff they do to please you. Don’t tell them you LOVE THEM and NOT SHOW IT!!! PROVE IT!!! I’ve had a Difficult Night so I am sorry If I sound “EXTRA”! GOOD MORNING AND HAVE A BLESSED MONDAY!

 

Keeping it Real,

Peace

The Elected Lady xx

Living an Authentic Life.

Living an Authentic Life... for me is such a powerful post that its giving me even more confidence to do what I love and to be who I am regardless of judgement. It didn’t have to be ‘religion’ induced but what Tracy shares is something that I feel most bloggers are afraid of. Just being open and candid or sometimes fearing the feeling like “I talk too much” to “I’ve shared too much” or “I’m being totally irrelevant with no real focus”.

What she says is inspirational and is a lesson in itself because, by expressing her ability to “Live an Authentic Life” it in turn exhorts me to to continue and grow in being honest, open and authentic in everything I do or write regardless of judgement or opinion. Check out her post and let me know what you think….

I’ll catch u later with some more things to share that’s on my heart!

As Ever, Keeping it Real (K.I.R)

Peace,

The Elected Lady xx