Deconstructing Self- Condemnation (Reflection)

Why do we self-destruct by condemning ourselves?
Why do we self-destruct by condemning ourselves?

Hi guys,

How y’all doing? I’m in process on the road to recovery so I trust you’ve kept yourself amused in the meantime! 🙂 It’s been a while and now is the time I feel I have something to share that has been marinating in my thoughts today.

Sometimes, when we’re on the verge of breakthrough we often give up and while it’s a cliche many know this to be a fact and have even given many motivational speeches on it. So I thought I’d share some of my inner musings, here are my thoughts…humor me a few moments:

One of the major reasons we often dont see or experience breakthrough in our lives or in our situations has often got anything to do with (well most of the time) the size of our bank account; the devil; our background; or even how hard or easy, or lazy we’ve worked, or even the advice or counsel we’ve listened to… These options are merely only partial contributions. Yup. I called the devil a partial contribution. Here’s why…

One of the biggest reasons why we do not see, is because so often we’re asleep inside. We’re not awake to the potential that lays dormant within or lays untapped because we can’t see it. Moreover, we disqualify ourselves before the jury can even say we’re guilty or not. How? We do this by the way we condemn ourselves in the name of “humility” and “killing the flesh” and “break down your pride!” (which by the way is false and its a form of pride in itself – There is no glory in self-condemnation as it still elevates self where negatively or positively).

We often cancel out our breakthrough by what we speak over our own selves, and consequently becomes slaves to our own perceptions which are already distorted and self-limiting and for that, the devil doesn’t need a helping hand for we go do it all by our self. By this, we insult our true identities and our true Value that God has placed on the inside of us by adopting lies and lesser views of who we are out of fear that we are overstepping the mark…

We condemn ourselves over the tiniest mistake in our quest for perfection and find ourselves falling short of the unattainable mark, even when it is in our ability to do so. We even strive in excess to the detriment, of our soul which is left in shattered pieces…
Pieces. Pieces of your life that we’d rather hide and bury in shame and like Adam – carrying the “fig-leaf syndrome” of trying to fix it ourselves.

If we got rid of self-condemning words and lies and just got back to knowing who we really are in Jesus, and got to know our true potential and valued as loved treasure and a precious human being whether created or not, we would hear clearly that voice tell you “why are you condemning yourself? Do I condemn you?” and you can respond appropriately. This was what happened to me this evening. I heard these very words and found myself repenting and had to forgive myself whilst I sought forgiveness for thinking ill of me just because I dialed the number of a guy I wanted to speak to who was going through stuff, whilst I was going through the Mill of recovery myself in tandem.

You see, the reality is Self-condemnation is not cool. It is destructive. No matter how glamorous it is dressed, it is fake and it destroys our confidence in not just ourselves, but in the One who Created us for GLORY, LOVE and Good Works. By deconstructing its ability to work in our lives by recognising how condemnation speaks, then we can stop it at the door before it can even gain entry and begin to unlock our keys to our breakthrough. Breakthrough is on the way no matter how small. Elijah just need a fist of cloud. How much more you?

Thanks for taking the time to read. As ever, Keeping it real…

The Elected Lady,

Peace xx

42 Things All Noughties Teenagers Will Remember

looooool Oh my daaaays!!! This blog is truth in every sense of the word of what my teens were like!!! soo funny because I remember it all…crikey time truly does fly and I feel old!! Do any of you remember? (Brits teens will recognise this well!!)
Check it out!
🙂 Keeping it Real,
Peace!
The Elected Lady xx

Hannah Gale

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1. Smirnoff Ice, WKD and Archers. Tiny bottles of sugary alcohol that made you talk to boys, throw up and get told off by your parents. Goody.

2. Spending an entire week waiting for the next episode of The O.C. Fancying Seth Cohen, wanting to be Summer Roberts, and feeling awkwardly not sad when Marisa died. Oh.

3. Stripy highlights. Big blonde chunky strips through your over-straightened hair that made you look like the fourth member of Atomic Kitten, the somewhat cooler version of Kerry Katona.

4. Denim everything. Denim jackets, the perfect denim mini skirt, denim pedal pushers, denim handbags. Firmly believing Bewitched were on to something.

5. Teaming said denim mini skirt with (faux) UGG boots, dolly shoes or bright pink Converse and feeling like you’d finally nailed looking cool on non-school uniform day. Well done you, high five. All the boys will fancy you now.

6…

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Don’t assume… (Irrational Monday Morning rant!)

Got some stuff I need to get off my chest family this Monday morning:

Don’t for one second assume that just because someone is on fb or uses social media a lot (or all the time) that their life is cushty. Even if you’re concerned how about find out how you can help them and not just criticise their way of life. Even if They may even be vocal about it. If you don’t like it and think its cool for them and u think their excessive use is bothering you press the delete button or if u dont want to unfriend them then unsubscribe. unfollow. its not hard!

Don’t even assume that even if everything is okay with them that just because you may not handle your pain or your issues the same way that their way is not the right way either. you may not want people around you the same way others want people around them. Don’t assume for one second that your remedy fits all. Yes your world may not evolve around them and yes you may even be very busy and that is fine! its not by force! But, don’t start saying things that u don’t know for a fact!

Don’t assume that their behaviour is “attention-seeking” just ’cause that’s what it may seem to look like. And even if it is the case what is your issue? Don’t expect that person to change coz they don’t conform to your ideologies of how a person should carry themselves with so-called “dignity”. Especially when you know that if you’re going through something and they knew they’d be there for you in a heartbeat, then do the same. If you can’t its fine. People have genuine reasons.

Don’t assume that just because you have principles that someone’s is the same as you and that they should understand because they won’t coz all they’ll see is they needed you and you weren’t there. We are all at different stages of our journey. Even if they are melodramatic and a BIT EXTRA and WEIRD and TOO MUCH and ANNOYING and INTENSE its coz their crying out for help with genuine support and they don’t understand why they are where they are. Their life may be intense so if you can’t handle it butt out and don’t judge. Or just PRAY. Text. Call. show you care. Don’t wait for them to text you before you find out how its going.

Even if you don’t do all those things, it doesn’t matter but the worst part is don’t start behaving like Job’s friends who accuse him and make him feel like he’s the one in the wrong and being extra and its somehow is fault he’s walking through what he’s going through in the name of God and start telling them a bit about themselves when their down!! Even for an animal that’s a low blow!

Even if they are healing up, its a long road to healing. You haven’t walked a mile in their shoes so say nothing and just be there. Especially when you want to use them for your own ends and have them be there for you and do all the stuff they do to please you. Don’t tell them you LOVE THEM and NOT SHOW IT!!! PROVE IT!!! I’ve had a Difficult Night so I am sorry If I sound “EXTRA”! GOOD MORNING AND HAVE A BLESSED MONDAY!

 

Keeping it Real,

Peace

The Elected Lady xx

The L Word

ever felt V’day is excessive? this a really good perspective on it… check it out! #KIR peace xx

hemmedinbythehandsofmercy

I don’t mean to jinx myself here or anything, but so far, nobody has asked me what I’m doing for Valentine’s Day. Massive result. V-day never used to mean anything to me when I was a teenager. Mostly, it all went over my head whilst I was deciding what was for dinner.  But as I’ve gotten older, it seems the pressure to have plans, a guy, or plans with a guy gets worse each year. WHYYYY????

Maybe you DON’T feel the pressure, in which case, you have my respect and I am a massive wiener. But each year the pretence that surrounds 14th February makes me feel like we’ve stored up all our love for one single day, and then forgotten what it looks like for the rest of the year.

Valentine’s Day is excessive to every degree. It is invasive; it is grand; it is prolific to say…

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Dad answers daycare questionnaire for baby daughter and lists ‘rapid digestion’ as a strength

looool. I always admire people who have witty wisdom when it comes to stupid requests or genuine simple-mindedness. This father is in my eyes one of the few legends (well a bit excessive) who uses humor and wit to describe his baby’s response to a questionnaire. My shock is the fact that the day care centre had lost all sense of common sense by asking a parent to fill out a baby’s questionnaire on it’s behalf when clearly, a baby couldn’t answer such questions! I mean, WTF???

So here’s some wit for you. Hope you enjoy as I did. Honestly, this time metro, this news was pretty good…

As Ever, Keeping it Real!
Peace,
The Elected Lady xx