Writing is both mask and unveiling. E.B. White
Day: November 23, 2012
Don’t know what to call it…Unrequited Love Perhaps…a Monologue??
Hey this is a Poem. I needed to find a way to express best what I’ve been probably feeling for a very long time. Sometimes, its very difficult to always express in continuous prose (full sentences…talking….the whole palaver) what you are feeling that it spills into poetic speech and lyrical flow. I was looking for inspiration meanwhile I didn’t realise my inspiration is my wonderland where I reside in my daydreams at the moment…
So Hope you enjoy….
The Storm is Raging,
My Cross still paging,
My Heart keeps aching,
Burning and Staking…
But you are consistent.
You are my baby…
My heart’s got me going crazy,
And this Love’s got me racing…
Can’t see; Can’t eat; Can’t sleep!
What the hell am I doing here?
Can’t move. Can’t breathe…
Why can’t I see clear?
Break Out, Break Free
in the midst of the storm.
My soul’s gone
cold– real low,
Can’t sort out pain from the ache
of an unrequited love,
& the love of another seems so far-fetched to
I’ve closed to real love
and the addictive poison of loving the love
that you dream loves you back,
That clouds your thoughts; your fears;
Your pains; your vision and it confuses the logic of a
Undisciplined in death,
One favours the journey of the roller-coaster motion
of a very alive beat of a heart~
A Heart unrequited by LOVE…
The Love songs, the sick feelings,
The Longings, The wakings,
when you hear that little voice…
“Let me Love you Instead!”
You respond. you answer.
You fight the withdrawals
of counterfeit temporal fixes of unrequited love.
You open to receive this love, but its hard.
You can’t see; You can’t hear; You can’t feel.
You feel nothing.
So you simply believe….meeting more dissatisfaction ~ A never-ending trap.
A colossal of pain, thoughts, physical drama, physical trauma,
Spirals into an endless hole…
Fight the hole! Fight the emotional addiction! Entertain Logic!
Entertain Soul! Entertain Spirit! Music! Feel! Feel!
Enter into Romance’s Sphere!
But Real Love took me
deeper. Darker. Harder.
“Let me Love you!”
The little Voice cries.
“No! You hurt me! I Love you but you hurt me!”
My voice replies.
Indignant at the realities of my warped views of Love,
The Voice serenades and comforts me. like a blanket
it encircles my being. Yes.
My being within.
Hear my call! Hear my wait!
Then I realise the Voice, the Real Love
took me deeper to hide me. Protect me. Till the appointed Time.
Ahh Yes! Time.
An interesting logic.
An abstract logic.
A logic that transcends Kairos and Kosmos Time.
Oh that you would quickly arrive with a rush!
Yet my heart fears the unknown
and ponders all the negative results and yields to the waiting…
…Hoping to buy time to prepare and that what I’m waiting for would be also prepared…willing…
But Time doesn’t always prepare.
Effort. Work. Hard Work prepares.
Passion. Focus and a willingness to pursue prepares.
I go get it, but I want it given.
I’m an Oxymoron waiting to happen.
Someone please save me from the complicated musings
of my Mind and heart…
…From this unrequited LOVE.
Lead me to real Joy!
Pure Love Everlasting…
The unceasing Love not based on works
but purely on the heart that appreciates
the flaws of Men
and loves past the pain and for them its alright…
The Love, that judges intentions and the capacity to Love rather than the actions of
Oh Yes! I’m insane. Insanely NORMAL.
Fluttered with words that are limited by
the Explosion of Emotion that has not formally aligned
to trigger settlement, where words express exact Emotional Feeling.
No. I’m tongue-tied. Speaking but not speaking.
My Heart Screams and no one’s hearing.
I’m taken by distraction and the overwhelming silence
and inactivity has left me somewhat speechless.
Lifeless. Monotonous in action
away from the simmering eruption, which awaits
like a ticking time Bomb…
So Many suggestions; so much advice!
who do I turn to? Where do I thrive?
Who do I lean on when the director is Silent?
My heart bleeds
Longing for that Passionate Unrequited Love that never seems to end…
Not temporal geniuses of a momentary, yearly infatuation
where the Choice of Love is a DECISION with PAIN
Rather than the EASE of life’s flaws-n-all where you’re taken…
Oh To hear the words
“Bone of my bone,
Flesh of my flesh…”
I long to return to the Beginning.
Where I once was…
…with my Love before I was yet born…
Till then..? My heart’s on my sleeve while I wait…