As I sit here, it is 04:30am in the morning and I haven’t slept a wink! My days are increasingly difficult with sleep that my body clock doesn’t seem to fully compute the day from night. Dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis makes … Continue reading Process! Process! Process!
During my teenage years, I went through a lot of pain and challenges that used to really inspire me to write music from that place. I used to draw a lot from that place and paint from that place. It gave me the sense of … Continue reading When dreaming becomes an Epiphany…
Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation where you have only a few days to prepare yourself and you find that the most essential thing you need is missing? Well that was me this week. Well… at least for the past 24 hours. … Continue reading Yikes! I Lost my Passport!!
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love this quote! Ralph describes the creation of words in a metaphorical way that I wouldn’t have cared to imagine. Today, this quote has impacted me profoundly. I say that it has impacted because he’s inspired and exhorted me to look at words and sentences a little more differently. So my challenge to you for the week is this: Take time to consider the sentences you make. Consider what road you are paving. Are they arm stones and rocky, or are they smooth and Roman? Consider the way you make for the way you lead is pioneering to life…
Keeping it real, Peace!
The Elected Lady xx
So its becoming the same generic Where I start momentum to write yet slip into a season of writer’s block (which by the way feels like I’m still currently in) and not write anything for a long while. When oh when will I ever fully discipline myself to write more regularly? All I know is that I guess I’m someone who tends to write under inspiration and when I do it’s usually more poetic and in such circumstances, you cannot rush inspiration and you cannot rush creativity.
But, its not that time for the self-admonishing but rather a time to say, thank you to all those who have been reading, and commenting and liking my posts as its really encouraging and it gives me great pleasure knowing what you’re thinking and knowing how in some way my posts help. It is a blessing to have you guys listen to what I have to say…
This week, a young person asked me during Choir practice why I love Mission or going on Missions so much? I realise life’s journey itself is a mission. It’s about purpose. It’s what we’ve been created for. It’s that purpose that drives people to either write, sing, be creative, be academic, and come out with books like “The Purpose Driven Life” (Rick Warren) and articles like “The Spirit Driven Life”. (Just a quick side-note here: we are to be Spirit Led not Purpose Driven…being driven puts enormous pressure on one’s self but we ought to have purpose and be led by our Spirit for direction to fulfill that purpose.)
Purpose is Mission. You’ve been sent here for a task, a purpose, a mission. Whichever way we put it, we were born to do something or to be someone who we are and who we’ve been created to be. So for me, I love Mission. I love purpose. I love the idea and the reality of knowing I am here for something. I am here to contribute and display the beauty and the character of the One who created me and share my experiences and life.
As a person, I am very expressive emotionally and physically, which others may sometimes perceive as a weakness but its rather a strength. It takes strength to admit when your weak. It takes strength to explore areas of emotion that usually one fears because of the consequences of experiencing such emotions. It’s all a part of Becoming who we are and Becoming who we’ve been created to be.
Why do I do mission? I do mission because Mission is a way of life. And to narrow it’s context, what is my mission? My Mission is to do the Will of Him that sent me and to Finish it. That’s my mission. So whichever vehicle or form that takes to complete and fulfill my mission I will take it.
It’s why I can’t be put in a box. It’s why I have to be versatile. Fluid. Spirit-Led. Why do I do Mission? It’s because we’ve been Commissioned to Mission. I have a role and have a hand in the Great Commission of Life to Share the good news about the One who loved and Loves me and paid that Price for me, and I want others to encounter that Love I’ve experienced. That LOVE that I’m so passionate about. Yes. That LOVE. IT’S WHO HE IS.
So Where am I going? I don’t know but as I’ve always said from the beginning, this Life is a Marathon, not a Sprint and its a journey so my ultimate goal and journey is back to the One I love. The One I adore. The one who Hears. The One who Sees. That’s where I’m going and I’m taking others with me, as I enjoy the roller-coaster ride. As I let go of the reins and let Him Reign. Be Obedient. That’s my cry. So it’s what I’m doing. I am going to France and Germany on Mission this year working with young people because I love it. And with people in general. I love to travel. I wanted to be in Lebanon this year, but my Spiritual Satnav didn’t direct me there this year due to many different factors and I needed to remain here in the UK.
It turned out that it was very worthwhile that I didn’t go, although I miss Lebanon terribly and crazily. One of my young people died brutally last week. Was hit by a train. When I heard it, it felt like a punch to the stomach. I thought, “If this is what it feels like to me and he’s not even my blood or direct child, I’d hate to think and wonder what his mother must be going through!”
This kid, Charlie, was 16. He had purpose. He wanted to be a Civil engineer. It hit me hard. I realised that I needed to be there for the young people who were affected. And I realised that this was my newest Mission. This is my mission for the time being until the Lord says Switch. For those of you who’ve been following my facebook posts and Twitter posts, you’ll find that we’ve been doing anything we can in remembrance of this wonderful guy. Through being there and connecting with these young people, they have been open to receiving love and having encounters of their own and those who don’t want to know are also okay. It’s not my place to force them. But, It’s mine to Love them. However, I’ve had to work as a wounded soldier helping his other wounded comrades.
I feel I’ve taken bullets since this season called February began, where one mission ended and it felt like I lost a job and my heart to be frank, and then side-tracked mission which put me in danger, but the Lord rescued me miraculously. Yes. sound familiar?
Sounds like a Soldier. Sounds like an Ambassador. Sounds like each and every single one of us who are facing challenges and facing circumstances with a choice without no choice. Yes. Sounds like Mission. Sounds like life.
So Why do Mission? Again: We’ve been Commissioned to Mission.
Keeping it real as ever,
The Elected Lady xx
Forgive me. I ask that you my faithful readers would indulge me another day whilst I’m in this state of verbal diahorrea this week!
The rain fell like spears, yet in stark contrast I remained dry under the shield of my huge black brolly which resembles that of a witch’s hat. I had just been at church minding the youth whilst facilitating the weekly choir/band practice at the same time. Oh yes, the sacrifice that goes with multi-tasking is painstakingly rewarding…mind my dry attempt at sarcasm.
Anyway, tonight I just want to rant a little so there is no method to this particular madness this wee hours of the morning…
I am provoked. Intensely provoked. Severely. Most ardently weeping with provocation yet frustratingly disarmed. Now ask me why. Why? okay I’ll tell you. here goes:
So, I’m in my element where I literally feel this surge of intense electricity in midst of worshipping my maker with the most amazing people, and as I play intuitively on the keys (piano), I feel this power ricochet down my spine in the most hypnotic yet soothing and comforting way. This freedom oozed to the place where my vocal chords rest -er hem -my throat or for the scientific inclined, the oesophagus. And, like times before where I’ve found myself really relaxed, I begin to sing keys and notes that I don’t usually expect to sing. Like a miracle honey has crawled down my throat to open freshly to sound.
However, the limiting sensations of the “don’t-hurt-your-throat” and “be careful-not-to-lose-your-voice”, “don’t overdo it” niggle from the back of my subconscious mind migrating into my conscious brain. Even more, the pressurising thoughts of, “now you’ve got your voice back, save it for the n:flame celebration on Saturday!” echo through the croaks of an otherwise smooth and leathery voice. Nevertheless, I closed my eyes and pressed ahead. Hey, at the end of the day, as H.O.D you kinda have to get it together! But this wasn’t why I was and am provoked.
The sounds vibrated through my being that it was like ecstasy- like being hit with a love drug! It just increased my love for music. I just totally love music! I really do! I am most myself when I’m either playing the keys or singing or around music, art or when surrounded by creativity because it moves me in ways that the human intellect cannot possible express but only experience. I love the whole performing thing. I love the glitz and the glamour though I find it most superficial half the time. And guess what? I’m not afraid t admit it. I do hate one thing thing though…or a couple of things i.e the politics and the injustice of the music business as a whole. But this does not dissuade me from the fact that I love music.
I just love the language of music. Now that’s my love language. You can be a part of any other culture and speak a different tongue but the language of music is one tongue. Gosh, I love music!
Any how, back from cloud nine! So, I’m high on air gassing over the beauty of practicing for Sunday’s service, whilst contemplating a second cancellation of a cinema visit with my sister (sorry Unique Individual! love you) and then feeling guilty for even entertaining such thought; when 20:45 arrived and the anxious, telling voice of my beloved sister declaring “we’ve got to go!” bellows from the main sanctuary as I say my goodbyes to my mum and Sis Jane. One massage, a kiss and kicking out my most beloved teens, we escape for some sisterly bonding. After a conversation later and a 10 minute bus wait, we board bus 313 and headed to cineworld cinema ~ a 3/5 minute journey for the most aid travellers.
On alighting the bus later at the Great Cambridge road bus stop, we embark on the brisk walk on the rain to the cinema. Up the stairs we ascended and then we took a left into the cinema foyer whilst discussing the interesting events of my sister’s day at work. Because I was undecided as to what film to watch, i eventually decided that I would scan my options, as you do. Well, there were only two films showing at the time that we arrived. One about the House on the End of the Street and Sparkle. OO, now that caught my attention!
Not only was I intrigued about Sparkle, but I was attentive especially since I knew that one of my biggest inspirations in music by the name of a certain Ms. Whitney Houston was going to be in it with Jordin Sparks – American Idol winner at least 6 years ago! So it was a win. My Sister and I were going to see Sparkle. Now we had to rush to get in as we were already 10 minutes into the adverts when we had arrived at the cinema.
Now, we can get to why I’m provoked. Well this film pressed so many buttons in me on so many levels in a such a musical and Spiritual way. Especially with Whitney Houston and TD. Jakes being the producers of the film. Watching my inspiration on film and seeing how old she was and the sharp realisation that she is well and truly gone conjured up huge emotions in me. My emotions were scattered and I wore my heart on my sleeve tonight whilst I watched my passion unfold before my eyes. Music. Writing. Song writing. I recognised in the character that Jordin Sparks played, something that I saw in me. I recognised the passion. The ability. The gift. Flashbacks of similarities with dream girls and the whole blast from the past of old skool gospel with a colourful mix of mowtown and the 60’s/70’s with the tethering ending of the rock’n’roll era (which has never fully ended tbh). The way she hit high notes effortlessly, and performed to huge audiences provoked me because its what I felt I was born to do. To sing. Not necessarily for people but just that atmosphere just pulled on so many nerves that i felt had been deadened by disappointed dreams that I let lie. I was provoked as watching reminded me of what my Pastor said on Wednesday night during a study “dare to dream again…” But should I? I don’t even know what to dream again?! Most of my desires have changed over the years and probably matured. When I was 14, just being a popstar would have sufficed and everything associated with it but now, it doesn’t matter so much to me now, although sometimes I do dream. I want to be able to impact and influence people through music but I don’t really want the fame or the whole gimmicks, though I love the fashion and the glamour and everything. I just want to be able to be me without those demons who help make your money yet break you . Yes the ones they call Paparazzi.
I’m just so provoked! All I want to do is to do what Sparkle did and yet still have a beautiful relationship with a guy that supported her. And God I really do miss Whitney Houston. I feel cheated ’cause as a kid, I always dreamed of meeting her and doing duets with her. Well that’s not happening now…
Anyways I had to get this off my chest. So what’s the end of the matter? well there’s no end really except to seek and find what next and take each day as it comes and learn to dream again…keeping things simple and keeping the main thing the main thing makes a lot of difference because I’m too tired to allow confusion in my life anymore. Rant over.
Here’s some soul food in memory of one of music’s legends in the last 40 years…
keeping it real, peace out! Elected Lady xx
In today’s modern society, with secular humanism on the rise and the revival of “modernised” Spirituality- astrology,psychics, and ancient spiritual practices, what sets apart the Prophet (a true one that is…in case some false ones want to include themselves in this category) from the preening voices, whose only target to the masses is to get your money and stir a revolution of followers to a place they haven’t been yet, or if at best, possess such qualities to help humanity?
Could we make sense of the disappointing predictions that either are false, delayed or simply distorted or hard pills to swallow? How do they in any shape or form improve our lives and how can we know what’s real aside from scientific, factual-based evidence, that seems by the day, to present World dominance by so-called evidence, which at best appears to erode the fabric of an inner and deeper nature that has not yet been fully comprehended or established by man?
Why, oh why the many questions? And why the many different voices presenting answers? Why are there useless responses accompanied with trivial understanding to complex situations?
For many of us, these ultimate and deep thinking questions have plagued our thoughts from time to time over the years and for me they most certainly decided to show up today. ‘Ere I was on the bus writing this in my journal as my floating thoughts began to form a cloud and precipitate in orderly fashion onto the pages. I considered and I pondered. And I pondered and Considered. In fact I was on my way to a tuition session today when I suddenly felt the attack and bombardment of my thoughts- the deep inner questions surfaced and began to gather sound and crescendoed to echoing voices in the silhouette of my brain.
These questions that I began to ask again, I realised that I would blog about questions and I thought I’d start from the place where it stemmed from hence tonight’s title. I will not seek to attempt to answer not even half of those questions myself otherwise the torture and the most arduous process of communicating it clearly would defeat the purpose of why I write today. Furthermore, I’m probably not the most qualified to answer all the questions in the first place but the ones that I feel qualified to respond, that, I will tackle…
You see over the few short/small years I’ve been on this beautiful place surrounding me called Earth, I have found that often the search for answers was quite meaningless. See the most famous of the wisest people to ever live, Solomon himself declared “Meaningless, Meaningless…all is meaningless…” (vanity is the other word for those who are wondering) The searches have been meaningless for they often haven’t arrived at bringing resolutions to problems but rather resolved to creating a painstaking web of more questions! I also found that the search for answers was really not in the questions themselves but rather in the nature of the questions and discovering the nature surrounding the pounding mysteries that envelop our minds…
…I’ve also discovered in my deciphering of the files paged on the tables of my brain, that the key is not in seeking the answers but in seeking the Person behind the questions and behind the answers. There is something about the nature of seeking that draws on the pursuit, hunger and desire to know more. A desire to make known the sense of life and the world we live in by seeing the world through an objective eye. This nature causes us to pursue wisdom at its highest form, yet from recorded history, it has often left us flat on our faces and full of error.
Therefore, in recognising this, it begs the question- what have we been seeking in the process of looking for answers? have we been seeking the wrong thing? Has our perception formulated a distorted view and so consequently framed distorted questions? Well, I’d like to propose to you that the answer is yes.
Allow my attempt to explain further…
Let”s say, for example some of the biggest answers to life’s toughest questions have not come from political leaders or life’s greatest influences ~ I mean, come on lets be real! This is not to say that influential people haven’t had great impact and not been able to give answers but this is simply to say that the human reasoning alone has not been able to beckon the truest answer to life’s biggest and hardest questions like when a 5 year olds asks me, “Where do we go when we die?” or “where is daddy? (when dad or mum has left the family home as a result of a breakdown in family relations)” we don’t even have the answers ourselves but only what we think we merely know and so-called “common sense” tells us – which by the way is not common anymore…(sorry had to speak in Obiter…) how do we interpret that life to a kid who’s process in life and mental reasoning is as childlike as they come? huh? therefore, its suffice to say that some of the biggest answers to life’s toughest questions have not necessarily come from the top.
We have often sought the answers in things; entertainment; politics; places and even fallible people who are inept at processing completely, life’s constant complexities.
You see, our world’s methods of seeking answers is to ask questions and doubt everything. But the real way to seek answers is to seek a PERSON. No. The Person. And once you arrive at the answer, to accept is is the key. Even all hypothesis need to be proven by experiment so how about put this to the test. But what person are we or who are we suppose to “seek” – The Prophet. The Person. The personality and the person-hood of the Nazarene from Galilee.
Oh my gosh! there she goes again! her barmy self with all the religious nonsense! well really and truly its not. I’m talking about a journey. a personal relationship and a personal conquest, an adventure to seeking this prophet, who speaks truth. The Prophet, who carried the DNA of the Omnipresent One. He’s one and the same person. The second of the God-head. Yes. Jesus.
The problem with this is that mere humanity cannot begin to comprehend this, in today’s day and age, this idea. What? seek a person? no thanks I’ll rather seek the way I know how…but it provokes more questions that are set to frustrate you when not met with clear answers. They cannot seem to comprehend the analogy at all. In fact most people who read the idea of seeking a person rather than seeking questions or seeking an answer, think: what a wacko! Psychosymatic freak, waste of time who have sworn allegiance to Lunacy.
This brings me back to my earlier question – so in a world of great Spiritual Awakenings, how does a prophet and his nature differ to the tens of thousands of psychics and spiritual healers and leaders and fortune tellers, soothsayers etc?
Well here’s my brief yet honest conclusion. I’ve found that the secret of the Prophet’s difference lies in whom he’s serving and who he represents. Its in recognising that his true form is one rejected in his own environment and being the rose birthed out of a root of thorns. It’s in seeing that his nature differs significantly from the others in the fact that his need for sanctification and his deep cry for holiness and intimacy…
…It’s in knowing that because he represents the Voice of One who is most pure in every way, he can deliver answers to a generation and the people that seek to know answers to life’s biggest and toughest questions. So what has that to do with us?
We are prophets to this entire generation. Interpreting life, and interpreting our ideas of God, Spirituality and humanism, whether we be true or false is an entirely different matter. But this key difference removes the act of self from using our so-called “gift” for purposeful gain with no guarantee that one would witness the fulness of what has been communicated but puts a weight and a responsibility to carry a gift with care knowing that we can and will be heavily persecuted. Not only so, but its in knowing that the intimacy we have with our maker transforms our image and transforms us into the unique beings we were called, created and designed to be. The Ones carrying the DNA of holiness to a world writhed in depravity. The difference is in knowing that this is the true and the real and it trumps the counterfeit every time as the others still fall short of the perfect ability to transform a life in its entirety for the good.
See, a moth will never be as beautiful as a butterfly, though they are similar and have the same transformation process, One breeds life and beauty, whilst the other is standard…and brings fear ~ more people are afraid of a moth than a butterfly! What am I saying? what does this mean? It means by seeking the One who is to be known by us whilst we are known by him releases the answers that this generation so desperately needs and that we all need because we seek the person and not the question. We seek the Person and not the answer. We find Answer, when we seek the Person. This revelation takes courage to apply, so I’ll leave you with this…
“…The answer is not in seeking the question but in seeking the Person. So Learn from the Butterfly…The secret is transformation….”
As usual a song to listen to whilst you ponder… (feel free to comment)
Peace out. Keeping it Real,
The Elected Lady xx
ps: all pictures from Google images ~must make acknowledgements known…