Tag: Reality

“Stay: Watch with me for One Hour…”

“Stay up with me One more Night,” I came with the soft whispers of the night.
The Chilling foreboding of my impending doom, awaited me.
Troubled, I’d never known FEAR; Never knew Fright,
Until that fateful eve in my heart when fear was all I could see…
Knowing the thought of Losing YOU to face my Destiny gripped my sorrowful frame,
But knowing it was to SAVE YOU, was worth enduring the Pain and the Shame.

So, could you watch with me One Hour?

passion-Jesus in Gethsemane
But that night the weight was all too real!
The apprehension. The Pain. Mental Torture was all I could feel.
The threat of truly knowing life a part
Where my Father would forsake me for a start,
The darkness of loneliness creeping my skin,
The terror of emptiness Pounding within…

So I asked again: would you watch with me One Hour?

But on return to your sleeping heads,
the weight of slumber covered your eyes.
Crestfallen, the familiar stab of pain and disappointment hit me
But my loving compassionate heart saw your feeble frame, & I knew YOU were MY Prize!

The thought of your falling to Temptation’s Snare, pulled my jealous love for you to pray,
All I wanted was One More Night with you – Please Stay!
Yet, my cry was “Not MY WILL BUT BE DONE THINE!”
So that I could make you truly Official and Legitimately Mine!

So now you’ve found yourself in your Gethsemane.
Your Being & Energy calls out to me:
Lord, Watch with me One Hour?” and me I say,
“I’ll watch with you an hour, a second and a day,
Even a Lifetime.
Because I will NEVER LEAVE YOU nor FORSAKE You.
And finally, “YOU ARE MINE.

Let me know what you think peoples!
As ever Keeping it real, Peace! HAPPY EASTER!!

The Elected Lady xx

Laying down your Isaac…

     

"I come second to no-one..."
“I come second to no-one…”

Hi guys,

I prithee  please forgive but I must warn you now. This isn’t one of those “short expression” moments that I’ve recently adjusted to so if you don’t have the time to listen then I must advise you to overlook now or find the time when you’re ready to read/listen because today, I’ve a lot to bleed today and pour out in this journey called LIFE. (Yes I know I haven’t been on this Earth that long but my goodness! I’ve seen enough to let one’s skin crawl, and had enough adventures to fill a library…well maybe not that exaggerated but at least you get the point!)

‘Ever feel like you’ve come across moments in your life where you have been challenged to give up the things that mean most to you and to your heart? Or have you ever felt moments where you were challenged to relent and give up your hearts’ desires in order to possess something greater, knowing that it would kill or hurt you in the process? Well, to me right now that’s where I am and it feels like a knife circumcision to the heart. Let me explain…

On Thursday Night I had finished Choir Practice at 9pm and headed to Mojos (youth/young people’s club at New River Church). I walked in the bitter cold night and crossed the clear road whilst observing the green-cross code “Stop! Look and Listen!“, and marched towards the bus stop in an attempt to keep myself warm then waited for bus W8 to arrive.  En route to Lea Valley Leisure Centre, I stopped in Edmonton Green. 

As I arrived at New River, I heard the sound of music coming from the venue (as with any youth group) and I perceived that they must be worshipping. So I entered into the building and after finding a suitable place to put my bags and coat, I positioned myself to enter into worship. Enter in, My FOOT! 

picture by Image Bank
***Praying Hands= ASK GOD***

Initially, when I started to worship (i.e. singing, praying, praising, telling-God-how-good-he-is)  it was all good and I had felt a wave of intense love wash over me especially as we sung Hillsong’s “The Stand”.  Suddenly, the familiar flicker of fear that indicates when “something-aint-right” crept on my vulnerable heart. I couldn’t understand why. I puzzled and thought, and thought, and puzzled; then I tried to figure out as usual what the reasons were when BANG! Complete Disconnection. The crawling sensation of anxiety gripped me in a moment and I began to fight it and struggled to regain that emotional and spiritual connection. That moment of emotional distraction left me feeling somewhat odd.

So  I paced around the space in the room and eventually settled for sitting on the floor. This time I felt tired and simply entered the “can’t-be-bovvered” attitude whilst trying still to connect vainly. Didn’t work to be honest. It was in that instance when my friend sat with me when I realised that I had needed to be open and honest about what I was experiencing.  After a bit of small talk, I told her about what happened and tbh I was genuinely seeking answers at this point. I just wanted to be free from this sickly feeling and something she said struck a chord with me.

She paused then expressed how when she felt that way sometimes, there was usually an underlying blockage that needed dealing with and she advised me as anyone would- “ASK GOD!” I did. I had.  I had asked already but wasn’t getting or hearing anything or response which fueled the anxiety that much more. But this time I decided to wait and ask again. (When you’ve asked once and life throws you curve balls as NO ANSWERS, ASK AGAIN!)

This time, because I was actually READY TO RECEIVE an answer, it came very quickly. A scene in an episode of Friends where Rachel says goodbye to Ross came quickly into view. This scene for me had been so intense that it hit a part of me that I never thought would be impacted in such a significant way. I realised the scene confronted my emotions about a person I really really like and my feelings for this person had dominated my thought life for a long time that it was undermining even my relationship with my Maker. And it didn’t only undermine my relationship, but it started to dominate my songs, prayers and my life to a very small degree (but a degree nonetheless).

"Goodbye Ross!"
“Goodbye Ross!”

I know! it sounds silly and stupid. Ah well, what am I like?! It just seems that when I fall for someone I fall hard. like, really hard. Some of you understand. It was at this point that I knew what needed to be done and it was as if I heard the words clear “Lay down you Isaac“. (Look, for the theologians among you, I don’t pretend to know how theologically correct it is but all I know is this is what He said and I obeyed. Simple. We can argue later…)

But for the others who don;t understand the context this command refers to, it is the story of Abraham and Isaac and you can read it in Genesis chapter 22 (don’t worry I didn’t have to kill anyone but I understood the metaphorical context). In retreat, I knew that I had to let go and give it over to God, and so let go, I did.  In obedience and in tears. And this time, there was a grace and an ease to do it. The song “Cry me a River” – the Justin Timberlake version, not Buble (though I love him so) springs to mind. It was silent, but the sodium chloride liquid coursed through my body and released streams down my face and into my palms. Strangely, it felt like a huge weight had lifted at the same time but it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I don’t pretend to feel great about it. I’m fine and I’m okay, but yea, it hurt.

You know, sometimes it feels so hard to let go. However, there is always hope. You see, when God or life requires you to give up your best, He often has in mind an even greater purpose and blessing in store for you. So count it all joy. As  Maria from the sound of music said it best, “When God closes a door, somehow he opens a window…”

pffhtt! IT BEST BE A BIG WINDOW that’s all am Saying!!! coz for me to climb through that? Lawd have mercy!!

So, what have I learned today?

1- Well the keys to my Heart are in Big Daddy’s hands and when the time is right, they shall be released and it will be full of matured Joy. And Secondly, there is always a Ram climbing as I am, to be that substitute sacrifice. I don’t know…These are just my thoughts today. Making any sense? feel free to express but in the meantime let me leave you with a couple of songs!

The sayings of a transparent heart…God this is difficult!

As ever keeping it real, Peace!

The Elected Lady ❤ xx

a glimpse of me: What’s keeping me moving on my ipod/spotify/youtube at the moment?

Okay. So it looks like I’m beginning to get a hang of this blog-thing or whatever. I’m just gonna consider it my diary…post when and if I feel like it so I apologise in advance for any long breaks in between blogs…I find I tend to write usually when I’m under the influence of Inspiration to write!

Just a quick note and reality check first: If you’re looking for someone who’s the witty funny type?  Then you’re probably reading the wrong blog and you’d want my sister (first class at banter and wit! my goodness…she’d out do me anyday…oh and Lewis if you’re reading this I’d say you match her…just. lol). Though, I do like a good laugh and banter (regular laughter is good for the soul- you need it! it doeth good like medicine! a very agreeable alternative to alcohol #justsaying…), I’m not your usual most humorous of people. Sorry to disappoint! woops! shock shock horror! Wasn’t I suppose to say that? Oh well. If we’re going on this journey together, I gotta be truthful from the onset right? oh what? GASP! STRIKE ME NOW! 🙂

Anyways, I’ve often carried a reputation as the one who was always “serious” and “intense” but I really relaxed over the years…I’m just a very passionate person- passionate about God, Passionate about people and passionate about life. And hey, guess what? I really couldn’t care less to be honest about what most people would think anyway. I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure out how to please people. You just end up miserable anyhow…

Needless to say, others somehow would consider me the “radical” type…whoops, I might get myself into trouble for being “radical” lol. Oh well. couldn’t care less about that either. I often tend to experience the extremes when it comes to things, life and general challenges that are thrown at me- depending on what they are and I don’t always find the middle ground (and no! don’t worry I’m not schizophrenic if such a thought crossed your mind…! #themindisapowerfulthing)

So whilst I leave you to think, ponder, discover, scatch-your-heads-trying-to-figure-out-who-the-heck-is-this-girl and what I’m about, I thought I’d share about a couple of tracks that have literally been on replay on my ipod, itunes, spotify and youtube accounts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQmrAzSehPM

This first one above is a track by Jon Thurlow called Divine Love (Jaye Thomas did his version and i fell in love with the song even further ~ he just gospelled it up lol). Now, I absolutely looove Jon Thurlow! Shame, no I mean, It’s a BLESSING that he’s married I think! (She says nursing her wounds of a broken heart and entreating God’s mercy wilst seeking to do her penance…lol) I just love this guy!!! He soooo gets it musically. He’s such an amazing musician.

Oh and there’s another one! a guy called Cory Asbury! Now He’s amaaaahzhing! I so love him too. I know,  know! Shouldn’t be allowed to drool….and for the “religious” folk out there, please forgive my insolene and my moment of carnality….

But, seriously?! These guys are incredible musicians and their teams are great. In case you don’t know who I’m referring to, these guys lead worship full-time at Internation House of Prayer aka IHOP, although I understand that Cory’s has left after being apart of that ministry for 8 years..?? Anyways, retracting back to my point, tese songwriters and prophetic minstrels are totally used by God to capture sounds from heaven, that for some, may sond like religious jargon and mumbo-jumbo, but for me? They are gems- Jewels and Kisses from the lips of heaven to a dying earth , carrying with it healing and a tribal, heavy and unique alternative sound (again for some, you may consider that ,most songs just resound sameness so what’s the difference with their music.)

However, the intricate simplicity of the lyrics carries its organic richness as its full of personality in the songs it creates. Some of the songs have come out very poetic for example again, Jon Thurlow’s “Storm all around”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73XNhWybP_k (please check it out! I recommend it, especially for those who Soak. It’s only 7mins 13 secs…not long at all! It’ll pull you into pure worship…if you want to that is…) which carries you along their journey whilst activationg your imagination and Senses; as one listens to the echo and power of not only the classic playing of the piano, but the resounding lyrics and the amazingly fresh modern drummer who beats the drums with a heart beat of emotion; unknowingly capturing the sound of the music whilst carrying the song to the next level.

Or how about the “fusion” song on the ‘One Thing’ album, my beloved? You see, that mix of metal-rock/hip-hop flare blends well with amazing voices whilst impacting the soul – again with the power of words.

The words of these songs for me don’t just ring a “nice” song but, they resonate deep truths that reverberate through my being that can only encapture the LOVE SOUNDS of a new generation who are Fierce, Furious and Passionate. Being Passionate about a love that is abstractly difficult to articulate or describe becomes the bedrock for songwriting, echoing and describing this LOVE in song…its the song that captures that emotion. It is these truths that are written in and on te pages of, which many consider sadly to be a dead and ancient book with no relevance today, of which when somehow brought to life has a lasting effect on the subconsious brain,~ as the impact of the revelation from those words grow strangly dim yet overwhem and ridiculously deep there’s a chance to get the new sounds out!!! I’m excited for ow it sounds and what it would be like…

Well folks, that’s what I perceived anyways when I was listening to these songs before I considered the technicalities of te songs and the track sequence i.e. the structure; layers; flow; combination; simplicity; instrumentation…and you know the rest…

On the Other hand, you might perceive these songs totally different in comparison. Perhaps you might even consider me to be totally bonkers, nuts, barmy and stark raving mad that I would feel and read into these songs in this way when “its just a song” that happens to be pretty good. Well, whichever way we look at it we have music that impacts us in different ways.

But for those of you wo are musicians wit a passion, you get and understand wat it feels like to romance a song and experience te ravishing bliss  or raging waters of music as though it was one Big Love Affair…

Anyhow, I’m digressing and most probably because I’m tired and its late and I really should have left this til later but had to write under the inspiration whilst it was there… yeeah (in bugs bunny style) I’ll pay for it later…

And so concludes my thoughts on the current music on my playlist at this precise moment in time! Thank God for youtube,itunes and SpOtIfY!!!!! You are awesome- Acknowledgments are good…

Final Words…

Yes and Finally, please respond and let me know what you’re thinking  as I’d be really interested  as to see your trail and journey of songs that connect with you! Take Care, Keeping it Real- Loving you; Loving JC, I AM THE ELECTED LADY! PEACE XX