Do I got what it takes to be a mother?. An interesting perspective on parenting with musical influence!
This is probably for me, an interesting title to this week’s post as many of you who know me would know that, I haven’t got any kids of my own so may not think I’m exactly qualified to answer or respond to this question. Though its self-evaluating, I suppose it conjures up all sorts of imaginations that may not be as accurate until I actually birth kids of my own – an affair that I’m sure to dread in terms of the pain….ooo me and pain are not friends and do not work well together at all!
But I’m the elected lady so I’m gonna keep it real and tell you the journey that caused me to come up with this question. So, if many of you remember from my last blog, I said I’ve been giving private tuition to two students. In case I didn’t mention it, let me talk about it a bit.
One pupil I have is a mentee of mine- who I’ve purposed to adopt as a sister because she needs a big sister and to protect her identity I’ll say her name is Nora. She’s a GCSE student and I help tutor her in areas she struggles with in Science and Maths (yes its not my strongest subject but hey I might as well give it a go and if her grades improve then Praise the Lord God). The usual systematic process we do is we pray before we start anything and then we laugh, joke and use objects for her to understand an area or a rule that she’s not confident with. Or I simply give her work to do and she does it. We’re 4th week in and I’m seeing a change in her as she was struggling with major identity issues and slowly but surely, she’s morphing into this wonderful teen that she actually is. Often, its quite nerve racking for me to teach her considering the fact that I’m conscious of the fact that I basically have to relearn subjects I swore I would avoid as an adult – Yes for those of you who think you’ve had a lucky escape, best believe you’ll find yourself revisiting those subject enemies that you have to conquer again but this time from a totally different angle!!
Second student is a beautiful, gorgeous little 4 year old girl and to protect her identity for legal purposes I’ll call her Natalie. Gosh this girl is so intelligent! She speaks as a ten year old except limited by words and some speech because she’s 4! Moreover, she expresses her feelings and emotions so matter-of-factly that its incredible to see her with such a big personality. I stand in amazement at the beautiful creation stood before me that God used when connecting sperm and egg together to make her. Now with her, I’ve been tutoring her for 2 weeks now. This week was the second week. But how I even got this opportunity was even a miracle! it was by chance that her grandmother randomly asked me if I gave extra tuition. She had asked me after I spent time praying and ministering to her after a Wednesday early morning prayer at my church. So she asked me this question to which I replied, I do and then she hired me then and there to tutor her grandchild! Thank God that through nflame and sublime I’ve been CRB cleared so I showed that to natalie’s grandmother and met the mother later that afternoon to discuss what she wanted.
Then last week Monday, the little girl Natalie just fell in love with me and just played and was so excited about me teaching her that she wanted to show me the whole world as it appears through her eyes. So, at times it was hard to get her to settle down and I realised that teaching a little girl was going to be more of a challenge than I thought. Moreover, times when I had to discipline her to just sit and listen, I had to remember to respect the boundaries of the parent of the child so as to not put myself in any trouble. By the end of that lesson, we read a book and she sat on my lap cuddled to me, sucking on her little index finger- aww she has the cutest hands ever! Success!
So, paid I was, until the next week which was this week. And, on Monday, this time Natalie, wasn’t cute, little girl but cute, little, almost but wasn’t near a nightmare! She tried my patience but by the end of it I had more Love for her than I did when I first met her. And its so cute to hear her call me aunty, and say the three little, simple words that resonate so much power and meaning that it ricochets shivers down my spine “I LOVE YOU”. wow. let me pause here. I LOVE YOU. The three clichic words that are so overused in our society but hold no meaning. The three words that have been buried in the midst of suffering, caught in a web of hatred, lies and unfaithfulness because adults have misused these three words and perverted with Satan’s snare, the true purity of the words that people desire to hear yet hate to feel. Yes, these three simple words when heard from the lips of a babe, a child carry such healing, power, innocence and the ominous sense that this child would be affected by life’s darts that those words would take effort to really mean such things to them. These three words that need purifying everyday by God who IS LOVE to even have the deepest effect on a single human being. These three words, that when they were uttered out of the lips of this 4 year old girl shot like a spear into my heart melted every guard and annoyance I had towards her playing up determined what my actions were next. Like auto pilot, she hugged me and I picked her up and hugged her and whispered the words back, “I LOVE YOU” and guess what? I meant every word of it with every fibre of my being.
This nicely brings me to why my title to today’s blog?
Well, because I’ve been working with young people for a while, especially with the ones who’ve been coming in off the street, and now in a more close proximity setting of tutoring and mentoring, it made me think about what it means to be a parent. What are the foundations? how do you parent a child who is already being parented where you see the flaws and you want to correct knowing that that would be done to you once you have children – its almost inevitable. How do you avoid the pitfalls? How does one support a child? what does it take to be a mother? How do you discipline them? How do I do it without making a complete idiot of myself?
Then I was reminded of how God does the job of both parents to literally everybody. I realise that he demonstrates parenthood in the most unconventional way to what we’ve probably been taught parenting is about and he does that via experience. And though I’m not a parent, I am in many ways. In Isaiah 54 it says (and sorry if I’m sounding religious~ not intended to be so but its for the basis of making an emphasis on a point) “More are the children of the desolate wife than she who has given birth…” (paraphrased) I realise that the position I’ve been entrusted with to these young people and little children, is not one to be taken lightly but a privilege serving them with a faithful, loving and consistent heart. And that first stems from the root of Love and Passion for these kids. I watched, Natalie’s mother loving on her daughter and the new baby in her arms and saw that what she had was no different from what I had except probably deeper because she gave birth to them and she also lives and raises them on a daily basis. Realising this responsibility, made me feel somewhat anxious and gave me this sense of foreboding as I wondered whether I was really cut out for this and whether I was really doing a good job. Especially when it appears that there’s only little progress and not major progress. I even wondered that with the way i get on with these guys and the way sometimes I slip up, will it be more painful with my own? How would I be as a mother?
Then I remembered the words of Deborah, a wonderful Judge. who declared “I saw the desolation of my people….Until I arose a Mother in Israel”. This answered the question for me. Someone has to do the job so it might as well be me. I don’t have to qualify for the job by giving birth. I’ve been qualified simply because I am willing and I’m a woman- a man with a womb- who can carry the promises of life for these ones who struggle to navigate through life. I have had enough experience to help the little one’s pull through and I am willing to learn. But above all, I have Love. I have the Love that has been loved to me that I can love others. The LOVE that is pure that is overwhelming my soul that only has one outlet and that is to share that love. And this love is not my own but the one He Gave me. The Love I didn’t have for myself before has loved me to health and is still loving me to glory, and will love these Kids to strength.
And as usual, things like this always conjures up songs and music that connect me to my understanding and it clearly reminds me of my painting of a baby in midair that I did in GCSE Art some years ago. The first song that came to mind was Jason Upton’s When it Thunders which describes a relationship between a Father and his Child through the storm and this song has had imminent impact on my life. I’ve at times border-lined obsessed over this song and left it on repeat for 7 days. yes. call me crazy but I love it!
And also the other song by him When you were a child:
What’s inspiring you? please share. Peace out. Loving you, Loving JC!
Keeping it real, Elected Lady xx
Hello guys! Yes I know its been a long while and I apologise profusely to you hungry readers for not being consistent in posting regularly. Life’s been crazy busy at the moment, and when you’re kinda on the go all the time, things like blogging … Continue reading Life Unplugged…music reloaded
Okay. So it looks like I’m beginning to get a hang of this blog-thing or whatever. I’m just gonna consider it my diary…post when and if I feel like it so I apologise in advance for any long breaks in between blogs…I find I tend to write usually when I’m under the influence of Inspiration to write!
Just a quick note and reality check first: If you’re looking for someone who’s the witty funny type? Then you’re probably reading the wrong blog and you’d want my sister (first class at banter and wit! my goodness…she’d out do me anyday…oh and Lewis if you’re reading this I’d say you match her…just. lol). Though, I do like a good laugh and banter (regular laughter is good for the soul- you need it! it doeth good like medicine! a very agreeable alternative to alcohol #justsaying…), I’m not your usual most humorous of people. Sorry to disappoint! woops! shock shock horror! Wasn’t I suppose to say that? Oh well. If we’re going on this journey together, I gotta be truthful from the onset right? oh what? GASP! STRIKE ME NOW! 🙂
Anyways, I’ve often carried a reputation as the one who was always “serious” and “intense” but I really relaxed over the years…I’m just a very passionate person- passionate about God, Passionate about people and passionate about life. And hey, guess what? I really couldn’t care less to be honest about what most people would think anyway. I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure out how to please people. You just end up miserable anyhow…
Needless to say, others somehow would consider me the “radical” type…whoops, I might get myself into trouble for being “radical” lol. Oh well. couldn’t care less about that either. I often tend to experience the extremes when it comes to things, life and general challenges that are thrown at me- depending on what they are and I don’t always find the middle ground (and no! don’t worry I’m not schizophrenic if such a thought crossed your mind…! #themindisapowerfulthing)
So whilst I leave you to think, ponder, discover, scatch-your-heads-trying-to-figure-out-who-the-heck-is-this-girl and what I’m about, I thought I’d share about a couple of tracks that have literally been on replay on my ipod, itunes, spotify and youtube accounts!
This first one above is a track by Jon Thurlow called Divine Love (Jaye Thomas did his version and i fell in love with the song even further ~ he just gospelled it up lol). Now, I absolutely looove Jon Thurlow! Shame, no I mean, It’s a BLESSING that he’s married I think! (She says nursing her wounds of a broken heart and entreating God’s mercy wilst seeking to do her penance…lol) I just love this guy!!! He soooo gets it musically. He’s such an amazing musician.
Oh and there’s another one! a guy called Cory Asbury! Now He’s amaaaahzhing! I so love him too. I know, know! Shouldn’t be allowed to drool….and for the “religious” folk out there, please forgive my insolene and my moment of carnality….
But, seriously?! These guys are incredible musicians and their teams are great. In case you don’t know who I’m referring to, these guys lead worship full-time at Internation House of Prayer aka IHOP, although I understand that Cory’s has left after being apart of that ministry for 8 years..?? Anyways, retracting back to my point, tese songwriters and prophetic minstrels are totally used by God to capture sounds from heaven, that for some, may sond like religious jargon and mumbo-jumbo, but for me? They are gems- Jewels and Kisses from the lips of heaven to a dying earth , carrying with it healing and a tribal, heavy and unique alternative sound (again for some, you may consider that ,most songs just resound sameness so what’s the difference with their music.)
However, the intricate simplicity of the lyrics carries its organic richness as its full of personality in the songs it creates. Some of the songs have come out very poetic for example again, Jon Thurlow’s “Storm all around” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73XNhWybP_k (please check it out! I recommend it, especially for those who Soak. It’s only 7mins 13 secs…not long at all! It’ll pull you into pure worship…if you want to that is…) which carries you along their journey whilst activationg your imagination and Senses; as one listens to the echo and power of not only the classic playing of the piano, but the resounding lyrics and the amazingly fresh modern drummer who beats the drums with a heart beat of emotion; unknowingly capturing the sound of the music whilst carrying the song to the next level.
Or how about the “fusion” song on the ‘One Thing’ album, my beloved? You see, that mix of metal-rock/hip-hop flare blends well with amazing voices whilst impacting the soul – again with the power of words.
The words of these songs for me don’t just ring a “nice” song but, they resonate deep truths that reverberate through my being that can only encapture the LOVE SOUNDS of a new generation who are Fierce, Furious and Passionate. Being Passionate about a love that is abstractly difficult to articulate or describe becomes the bedrock for songwriting, echoing and describing this LOVE in song…its the song that captures that emotion. It is these truths that are written in and on te pages of, which many consider sadly to be a dead and ancient book with no relevance today, of which when somehow brought to life has a lasting effect on the subconsious brain,~ as the impact of the revelation from those words grow strangly dim yet overwhem and ridiculously deep there’s a chance to get the new sounds out!!! I’m excited for ow it sounds and what it would be like…
Well folks, that’s what I perceived anyways when I was listening to these songs before I considered the technicalities of te songs and the track sequence i.e. the structure; layers; flow; combination; simplicity; instrumentation…and you know the rest…
On the Other hand, you might perceive these songs totally different in comparison. Perhaps you might even consider me to be totally bonkers, nuts, barmy and stark raving mad that I would feel and read into these songs in this way when “its just a song” that happens to be pretty good. Well, whichever way we look at it we have music that impacts us in different ways.
But for those of you wo are musicians wit a passion, you get and understand wat it feels like to romance a song and experience te ravishing bliss or raging waters of music as though it was one Big Love Affair…
Anyhow, I’m digressing and most probably because I’m tired and its late and I really should have left this til later but had to write under the inspiration whilst it was there… yeeah (in bugs bunny style) I’ll pay for it later…
And so concludes my thoughts on the current music on my playlist at this precise moment in time! Thank God for youtube,itunes and SpOtIfY!!!!! You are awesome- Acknowledgments are good…
Yes and Finally, please respond and let me know what you’re thinking as I’d be really interested as to see your trail and journey of songs that connect with you! Take Care, Keeping it Real- Loving you; Loving JC, I AM THE ELECTED LADY! PEACE XX
So, I’ve just stepped into something new… wow wee! so I don’t know where I’m going but its sure going to be an interesting ride so its firstly so good to see you join me on it!
Baby steps for me are required to step into this world of Blogging-with-a-difference. In case you don’t know, I used to blog but I kinda got bored and lost along the way when I realised that I can only really write under inspiration or when I feel inspired to write. At the moment in my journey called life I’ve embarked on this course to pursuing a lifestyle of working from a place of rest. Its requiring discipline and focus but its helping me decide what matters, what’s important and what can be thrown out and cast away. It’s a Spiritual journey and no I’m not one of those crazy gurus but I have been called crazy, weird and all sorts but its been a journey worthwhile and many who join with me recognise that life as normal is not normal!
Anyways, I decided that in this season of my life where I’ve completed Uni, then completed a gap year in Youth Work and Missions (which I still intended to continue this year…) I would focus on my passions and make them a reality as I have started to put action to my dreams. Yes. Action. A cliche-ic word so overused, yet so profound. However, many have yet to realise and actualize this tool to produces the fulness and fruitfulness to their dreams. See, from a young age I’ve always been very creative. Whether it was musically, Cookery, Artistry or whatever I always found that it kindled a fire that began to burn and very quickly, I realised it was a fire that would have to fight to stay kindled and ‘fanned- into- flame’.
How the heck was I going to do this? With so much discouragement, and the current climate being a total turn-off and a deterrent for anyone who would seek to step and launch out into the deep without guarantee? (in case you’re thinking about it, do so at your own risk!)
Well firstly, with the help of the BIG MAN UPSTAIRS…and then surrounding myself with good coaches and mentors who have insight and foresight to assist and push me towards my goals and hard-work with prayer and research, are the key ingredients to taking steps to actualizing one’s dream….Oh how I love to Dream!!! Life throws its punches but by reviewing songs, artists, all sorts it will give me a glimpse into a new world that can not be grasped from the surface at the face value climate of the “Music Industry” et al.
So I started putting this to practice and to action and today I bought two domain names for a website…woop woop!!! I’m so excited!!! Then I set up this blog and did so much today that I’m beginning to see things as a possiblity and a reality. Who says we can’t do the impossible? Well in this life you gotta believe in the Possibility of the Impossible. Write the vision. Make it plain. So when you read it, you can run (wise words from Habbakuk ~correct if I’m wrong)….
So I’ll just finish with an open question, what music grasps your soul that you know that you are catapulted from one level to another realm…?
That is all. Feel free to respond.