During my teenage years, I went through a lot of pain and challenges that used to really inspire me to write music from that place. I used to draw a lot from that place and paint from that place. It gave me the sense of … Continue reading When dreaming becomes an Epiphany…
So its becoming the same generic Where I start momentum to write yet slip into a season of writer’s block (which by the way feels like I’m still currently in) and not write anything for a long while. When oh when will I ever fully discipline myself to write more regularly? All I know is that I guess I’m someone who tends to write under inspiration and when I do it’s usually more poetic and in such circumstances, you cannot rush inspiration and you cannot rush creativity.
But, its not that time for the self-admonishing but rather a time to say, thank you to all those who have been reading, and commenting and liking my posts as its really encouraging and it gives me great pleasure knowing what you’re thinking and knowing how in some way my posts help. It is a blessing to have you guys listen to what I have to say…
This week, a young person asked me during Choir practice why I love Mission or going on Missions so much? I realise life’s journey itself is a mission. It’s about purpose. It’s what we’ve been created for. It’s that purpose that drives people to either write, sing, be creative, be academic, and come out with books like “The Purpose Driven Life” (Rick Warren) and articles like “The Spirit Driven Life”. (Just a quick side-note here: we are to be Spirit Led not Purpose Driven…being driven puts enormous pressure on one’s self but we ought to have purpose and be led by our Spirit for direction to fulfill that purpose.)
Purpose is Mission. You’ve been sent here for a task, a purpose, a mission. Whichever way we put it, we were born to do something or to be someone who we are and who we’ve been created to be. So for me, I love Mission. I love purpose. I love the idea and the reality of knowing I am here for something. I am here to contribute and display the beauty and the character of the One who created me and share my experiences and life.
As a person, I am very expressive emotionally and physically, which others may sometimes perceive as a weakness but its rather a strength. It takes strength to admit when your weak. It takes strength to explore areas of emotion that usually one fears because of the consequences of experiencing such emotions. It’s all a part of Becoming who we are and Becoming who we’ve been created to be.
Why do I do mission? I do mission because Mission is a way of life. And to narrow it’s context, what is my mission? My Mission is to do the Will of Him that sent me and to Finish it. That’s my mission. So whichever vehicle or form that takes to complete and fulfill my mission I will take it.
It’s why I can’t be put in a box. It’s why I have to be versatile. Fluid. Spirit-Led. Why do I do Mission? It’s because we’ve been Commissioned to Mission. I have a role and have a hand in the Great Commission of Life to Share the good news about the One who loved and Loves me and paid that Price for me, and I want others to encounter that Love I’ve experienced. That LOVE that I’m so passionate about. Yes. That LOVE. IT’S WHO HE IS.
So Where am I going? I don’t know but as I’ve always said from the beginning, this Life is a Marathon, not a Sprint and its a journey so my ultimate goal and journey is back to the One I love. The One I adore. The one who Hears. The One who Sees. That’s where I’m going and I’m taking others with me, as I enjoy the roller-coaster ride. As I let go of the reins and let Him Reign. Be Obedient. That’s my cry. So it’s what I’m doing. I am going to France and Germany on Mission this year working with young people because I love it. And with people in general. I love to travel. I wanted to be in Lebanon this year, but my Spiritual Satnav didn’t direct me there this year due to many different factors and I needed to remain here in the UK.
It turned out that it was very worthwhile that I didn’t go, although I miss Lebanon terribly and crazily. One of my young people died brutally last week. Was hit by a train. When I heard it, it felt like a punch to the stomach. I thought, “If this is what it feels like to me and he’s not even my blood or direct child, I’d hate to think and wonder what his mother must be going through!”
This kid, Charlie, was 16. He had purpose. He wanted to be a Civil engineer. It hit me hard. I realised that I needed to be there for the young people who were affected. And I realised that this was my newest Mission. This is my mission for the time being until the Lord says Switch. For those of you who’ve been following my facebook posts and Twitter posts, you’ll find that we’ve been doing anything we can in remembrance of this wonderful guy. Through being there and connecting with these young people, they have been open to receiving love and having encounters of their own and those who don’t want to know are also okay. It’s not my place to force them. But, It’s mine to Love them. However, I’ve had to work as a wounded soldier helping his other wounded comrades.
I feel I’ve taken bullets since this season called February began, where one mission ended and it felt like I lost a job and my heart to be frank, and then side-tracked mission which put me in danger, but the Lord rescued me miraculously. Yes. sound familiar?
Sounds like a Soldier. Sounds like an Ambassador. Sounds like each and every single one of us who are facing challenges and facing circumstances with a choice without no choice. Yes. Sounds like Mission. Sounds like life.
So Why do Mission? Again: We’ve been Commissioned to Mission.
Keeping it real as ever,
The Elected Lady xx
I prithee please forgive but I must warn you now. This isn’t one of those “short expression” moments that I’ve recently adjusted to so if you don’t have the time to listen then I must advise you to overlook now or find the time when you’re ready to read/listen because today, I’ve a lot to bleed today and pour out in this journey called LIFE. (Yes I know I haven’t been on this Earth that long but my goodness! I’ve seen enough to let one’s skin crawl, and had enough adventures to fill a library…well maybe not that exaggerated but at least you get the point!)
‘Ever feel like you’ve come across moments in your life where you have been challenged to give up the things that mean most to you and to your heart? Or have you ever felt moments where you were challenged to relent and give up your hearts’ desires in order to possess something greater, knowing that it would kill or hurt you in the process? Well, to me right now that’s where I am and it feels like a knife circumcision to the heart. Let me explain…
On Thursday Night I had finished Choir Practice at 9pm and headed to Mojos (youth/young people’s club at New River Church). I walked in the bitter cold night and crossed the clear road whilst observing the green-cross code “Stop! Look and Listen!“, and marched towards the bus stop in an attempt to keep myself warm then waited for bus W8 to arrive. En route to Lea Valley Leisure Centre, I stopped in Edmonton Green.
As I arrived at New River, I heard the sound of music coming from the venue (as with any youth group) and I perceived that they must be worshipping. So I entered into the building and after finding a suitable place to put my bags and coat, I positioned myself to enter into worship. Enter in, My FOOT!
Initially, when I started to worship (i.e. singing, praying, praising, telling-God-how-good-he-is) it was all good and I had felt a wave of intense love wash over me especially as we sung Hillsong’s “The Stand”. Suddenly, the familiar flicker of fear that indicates when “something-aint-right” crept on my vulnerable heart. I couldn’t understand why. I puzzled and thought, and thought, and puzzled; then I tried to figure out as usual what the reasons were when BANG! Complete Disconnection. The crawling sensation of anxiety gripped me in a moment and I began to fight it and struggled to regain that emotional and spiritual connection. That moment of emotional distraction left me feeling somewhat odd.
So I paced around the space in the room and eventually settled for sitting on the floor. This time I felt tired and simply entered the “can’t-be-bovvered” attitude whilst trying still to connect vainly. Didn’t work to be honest. It was in that instance when my friend sat with me when I realised that I had needed to be open and honest about what I was experiencing. After a bit of small talk, I told her about what happened and tbh I was genuinely seeking answers at this point. I just wanted to be free from this sickly feeling and something she said struck a chord with me.
She paused then expressed how when she felt that way sometimes, there was usually an underlying blockage that needed dealing with and she advised me as anyone would- “ASK GOD!” I did. I had. I had asked already but wasn’t getting or hearing anything or response which fueled the anxiety that much more. But this time I decided to wait and ask again. (When you’ve asked once and life throws you curve balls as NO ANSWERS, ASK AGAIN!)
This time, because I was actually READY TO RECEIVE an answer, it came very quickly. A scene in an episode of Friends where Rachel says goodbye to Ross came quickly into view. This scene for me had been so intense that it hit a part of me that I never thought would be impacted in such a significant way. I realised the scene confronted my emotions about a person I really really like and my feelings for this person had dominated my thought life for a long time that it was undermining even my relationship with my Maker. And it didn’t only undermine my relationship, but it started to dominate my songs, prayers and my life to a very small degree (but a degree nonetheless).
I know! it sounds silly and stupid. Ah well, what am I like?! It just seems that when I fall for someone I fall hard. like, really hard. Some of you understand. It was at this point that I knew what needed to be done and it was as if I heard the words clear “Lay down you Isaac“. (Look, for the theologians among you, I don’t pretend to know how theologically correct it is but all I know is this is what He said and I obeyed. Simple. We can argue later…)
But for the others who don;t understand the context this command refers to, it is the story of Abraham and Isaac and you can read it in Genesis chapter 22 (don’t worry I didn’t have to kill anyone but I understood the metaphorical context). In retreat, I knew that I had to let go and give it over to God, and so let go, I did. In obedience and in tears. And this time, there was a grace and an ease to do it. The song “Cry me a River” – the Justin Timberlake version, not Buble (though I love him so) springs to mind. It was silent, but the sodium chloride liquid coursed through my body and released streams down my face and into my palms. Strangely, it felt like a huge weight had lifted at the same time but it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I don’t pretend to feel great about it. I’m fine and I’m okay, but yea, it hurt.
You know, sometimes it feels so hard to let go. However, there is always hope. You see, when God or life requires you to give up your best, He often has in mind an even greater purpose and blessing in store for you. So count it all joy. As Maria from the sound of music said it best, “When God closes a door, somehow he opens a window…”
pffhtt! IT BEST BE A BIG WINDOW that’s all am Saying!!! coz for me to climb through that? Lawd have mercy!!
So, what have I learned today?
1- Well the keys to my Heart are in Big Daddy’s hands and when the time is right, they shall be released and it will be full of matured Joy. And Secondly, there is always a Ram climbing as I am, to be that substitute sacrifice. I don’t know…These are just my thoughts today. Making any sense? feel free to express but in the meantime let me leave you with a couple of songs!
The sayings of a transparent heart…God this is difficult!
As ever keeping it real, Peace!
The Elected Lady ❤ xx
In today’s modern society, with secular humanism on the rise and the revival of “modernised” Spirituality- astrology,psychics, and ancient spiritual practices, what sets apart the Prophet (a true one that is…in case some false ones want to include themselves in this category) from the preening voices, whose only target to the masses is to get your money and stir a revolution of followers to a place they haven’t been yet, or if at best, possess such qualities to help humanity?
Could we make sense of the disappointing predictions that either are false, delayed or simply distorted or hard pills to swallow? How do they in any shape or form improve our lives and how can we know what’s real aside from scientific, factual-based evidence, that seems by the day, to present World dominance by so-called evidence, which at best appears to erode the fabric of an inner and deeper nature that has not yet been fully comprehended or established by man?
Why, oh why the many questions? And why the many different voices presenting answers? Why are there useless responses accompanied with trivial understanding to complex situations?
For many of us, these ultimate and deep thinking questions have plagued our thoughts from time to time over the years and for me they most certainly decided to show up today. ‘Ere I was on the bus writing this in my journal as my floating thoughts began to form a cloud and precipitate in orderly fashion onto the pages. I considered and I pondered. And I pondered and Considered. In fact I was on my way to a tuition session today when I suddenly felt the attack and bombardment of my thoughts- the deep inner questions surfaced and began to gather sound and crescendoed to echoing voices in the silhouette of my brain.
These questions that I began to ask again, I realised that I would blog about questions and I thought I’d start from the place where it stemmed from hence tonight’s title. I will not seek to attempt to answer not even half of those questions myself otherwise the torture and the most arduous process of communicating it clearly would defeat the purpose of why I write today. Furthermore, I’m probably not the most qualified to answer all the questions in the first place but the ones that I feel qualified to respond, that, I will tackle…
You see over the few short/small years I’ve been on this beautiful place surrounding me called Earth, I have found that often the search for answers was quite meaningless. See the most famous of the wisest people to ever live, Solomon himself declared “Meaningless, Meaningless…all is meaningless…” (vanity is the other word for those who are wondering) The searches have been meaningless for they often haven’t arrived at bringing resolutions to problems but rather resolved to creating a painstaking web of more questions! I also found that the search for answers was really not in the questions themselves but rather in the nature of the questions and discovering the nature surrounding the pounding mysteries that envelop our minds…
…I’ve also discovered in my deciphering of the files paged on the tables of my brain, that the key is not in seeking the answers but in seeking the Person behind the questions and behind the answers. There is something about the nature of seeking that draws on the pursuit, hunger and desire to know more. A desire to make known the sense of life and the world we live in by seeing the world through an objective eye. This nature causes us to pursue wisdom at its highest form, yet from recorded history, it has often left us flat on our faces and full of error.
Therefore, in recognising this, it begs the question- what have we been seeking in the process of looking for answers? have we been seeking the wrong thing? Has our perception formulated a distorted view and so consequently framed distorted questions? Well, I’d like to propose to you that the answer is yes.
Allow my attempt to explain further…
Let”s say, for example some of the biggest answers to life’s toughest questions have not come from political leaders or life’s greatest influences ~ I mean, come on lets be real! This is not to say that influential people haven’t had great impact and not been able to give answers but this is simply to say that the human reasoning alone has not been able to beckon the truest answer to life’s biggest and hardest questions like when a 5 year olds asks me, “Where do we go when we die?” or “where is daddy? (when dad or mum has left the family home as a result of a breakdown in family relations)” we don’t even have the answers ourselves but only what we think we merely know and so-called “common sense” tells us – which by the way is not common anymore…(sorry had to speak in Obiter…) how do we interpret that life to a kid who’s process in life and mental reasoning is as childlike as they come? huh? therefore, its suffice to say that some of the biggest answers to life’s toughest questions have not necessarily come from the top.
We have often sought the answers in things; entertainment; politics; places and even fallible people who are inept at processing completely, life’s constant complexities.
You see, our world’s methods of seeking answers is to ask questions and doubt everything. But the real way to seek answers is to seek a PERSON. No. The Person. And once you arrive at the answer, to accept is is the key. Even all hypothesis need to be proven by experiment so how about put this to the test. But what person are we or who are we suppose to “seek” – The Prophet. The Person. The personality and the person-hood of the Nazarene from Galilee.
Oh my gosh! there she goes again! her barmy self with all the religious nonsense! well really and truly its not. I’m talking about a journey. a personal relationship and a personal conquest, an adventure to seeking this prophet, who speaks truth. The Prophet, who carried the DNA of the Omnipresent One. He’s one and the same person. The second of the God-head. Yes. Jesus.
The problem with this is that mere humanity cannot begin to comprehend this, in today’s day and age, this idea. What? seek a person? no thanks I’ll rather seek the way I know how…but it provokes more questions that are set to frustrate you when not met with clear answers. They cannot seem to comprehend the analogy at all. In fact most people who read the idea of seeking a person rather than seeking questions or seeking an answer, think: what a wacko! Psychosymatic freak, waste of time who have sworn allegiance to Lunacy.
This brings me back to my earlier question – so in a world of great Spiritual Awakenings, how does a prophet and his nature differ to the tens of thousands of psychics and spiritual healers and leaders and fortune tellers, soothsayers etc?
Well here’s my brief yet honest conclusion. I’ve found that the secret of the Prophet’s difference lies in whom he’s serving and who he represents. Its in recognising that his true form is one rejected in his own environment and being the rose birthed out of a root of thorns. It’s in seeing that his nature differs significantly from the others in the fact that his need for sanctification and his deep cry for holiness and intimacy…
…It’s in knowing that because he represents the Voice of One who is most pure in every way, he can deliver answers to a generation and the people that seek to know answers to life’s biggest and toughest questions. So what has that to do with us?
We are prophets to this entire generation. Interpreting life, and interpreting our ideas of God, Spirituality and humanism, whether we be true or false is an entirely different matter. But this key difference removes the act of self from using our so-called “gift” for purposeful gain with no guarantee that one would witness the fulness of what has been communicated but puts a weight and a responsibility to carry a gift with care knowing that we can and will be heavily persecuted. Not only so, but its in knowing that the intimacy we have with our maker transforms our image and transforms us into the unique beings we were called, created and designed to be. The Ones carrying the DNA of holiness to a world writhed in depravity. The difference is in knowing that this is the true and the real and it trumps the counterfeit every time as the others still fall short of the perfect ability to transform a life in its entirety for the good.
See, a moth will never be as beautiful as a butterfly, though they are similar and have the same transformation process, One breeds life and beauty, whilst the other is standard…and brings fear ~ more people are afraid of a moth than a butterfly! What am I saying? what does this mean? It means by seeking the One who is to be known by us whilst we are known by him releases the answers that this generation so desperately needs and that we all need because we seek the person and not the question. We seek the Person and not the answer. We find Answer, when we seek the Person. This revelation takes courage to apply, so I’ll leave you with this…
“…The answer is not in seeking the question but in seeking the Person. So Learn from the Butterfly…The secret is transformation….”
As usual a song to listen to whilst you ponder… (feel free to comment)
Peace out. Keeping it Real,
The Elected Lady xx
ps: all pictures from Google images ~must make acknowledgements known…